I Am Not Stupid, Just Sick ...

Technology changes everything, irrevocably altering just about every aspect of our lives, reshuffling our priorities and directions of thoughts and actions. It offers possibilities towards aims and goals we never dreamed viable or achievable. Naturally possibilities remain possibilities, unless and until we apply ourselves making the means work, to benefit from the treasure grove of almost unlimited possibilities.That's where I fall short.

There are two areas in which I am as thick as two planks of wood, totally helpless, hopeless and, put into one single word, dumb!! Orientation and technology. One of the reasons I gave up driving was because I never know east from the west - well unless the sun is shining and I am on an open road. If I parked my car in a street but had to walk to my destination in another street, it would be practically an ordeal for me afterwards to know where to find my car again. When I enter a department store that has more than one entrance, after visiting a few counters inside the store, I would be at a total loss to find my out however many times I have visited the same store. In any city centre, I get lost on a daily basis, even in my dreams!

With technology, of any kind, I am equally useless. I made a huge effort to learn how to use the computer, having resisted just about forever even to try it out. Only through desperation as I realized that if I didn't, I would never hear from any friends again as nobody wrote letters any more. It wasn't too much of a challenge to learn how to handle email, even found it rather simple to my surprise and relief. I got my first ever Blog account on Yahoo 360 in November 2006, stared at the empty page for about 20 minutes and left it, for 6 months!! It was not until April 2007 before I tentatively posted about 2 lines on the page for the first time.

It didn't take me too long to get quick comfortable with writing & posting Blogs, but everything else is still almost scary for me. So the few times when there was trouble with the computer itself or with the connection, or any kind of muddle I got into, I would just get panicky!

The amazing thing is, I am normally a quick learner in most things, especially those academically related; and I consider myself fairly intelligent, being able to think and reason logically most of the time. Yet when I read a tech manual, when I face CSS codes, my brain seems to immediately and hermetically shut off. No amount of willingness, patience or self coaxing, not even with promises to treat myself to yet another pair of gorgeous high heels, or a sumptuous meal in my favourite restaurant, could give me enough incentive to tackle the problem. No idea how to!! All I am able to do is, PANIC, little ones, medium size ones and gigantic ones being the only variation.

So, Why Oh Why am I such an illiterate in technology? I am beginning to think, or choose to think, it's a disease. Not my fault, I am just sick sometimes.

Yep, that's what it is, and I am sticking to it.

Tags:technology,orientation,disease

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