Today
is one of those days when I don't feel like doing anything remotely
resembles work. So I thought I would just share a couple of laughs with
you guys and be the fool on the day with other fools.
** How to get quick Police assistance
One night an elderly man George
Phillips of Meridian Mississippi was just going up to bed, when his
wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, because
she could see it from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.
He phoned the police who asked: "Is someone actually in your house?"
When
he said no, the police said that all patrols were busy, and that he
should simply lock his door and wait till an officer could go along when
available. George said: "Okay", hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.
"Hello," he said "I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I just shot them." Then he hung up.
Within 5 minutes 3 police cars, an Armed Response Unit and an ambulance showed up at George's residence and caught the burglars red-handed. One of the policeman said to George:
"I thought you said that you had shot them?"
George said: "I thought you said there was nobody available!"
** The woman and the frog
A
Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She
went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog
said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three
wishes."
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get 10 times more!"
The woman said, "That's okay." For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to".
The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me." So, KAZAM - she's the most beautiful woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you."
The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine." So, KAZAM - she's the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."
** Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.
Attention female readers : This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.
Male readers: Please scroll down.
The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife!
Moral of the story : Women are really dumb but think they're really smart.
Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show.
PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!!!
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get 10 times more!"
The woman said, "That's okay." For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to".
The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me." So, KAZAM - she's the most beautiful woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you."
The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine." So, KAZAM - she's the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."
** Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.
Attention female readers : This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.
Male readers: Please scroll down.
The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife!
Moral of the story : Women are really dumb but think they're really smart.
Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show.
PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!!!
** Only 3 men in history walked on water
The 1st one was Christ...
The 2nd one was the apostle, Peter ...
Then there was this guy, Jose ...
- Current Mood:
amused
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