It's often said that people don't change. I think they do. Not basically or fundamentally, but beliefs, ideas, thinking, reasoning and attitudes do, sometimes even quite drastically. Growing up, becoming more mature, more knowledgeable and more experienced with life; circumstances, other people's influences ... not suddenly or even perceptibly, but we all change, gradually and to a more or lesser extent, along the different stages of journey through life.
Barely a teen but very precocious, I tried to fit into the group of the older teens of the 14 - 15 year olds, all seemed far more confident and sophisticated than I was I thought. So I began to talk like them, dressed like them, say I liked horror films when I was actually scared out of my wits each time, practically killing myself with my first Rum-Cola but said I loved it and asked for another ...
All too soon I found I really hated being one of them, as their hobbies were not mine, their ideas were weird, and their entertainment was to me silly and dead boring. So I went the other extreme, to be totally different, as far from their style and behaviour as I could be. Great success. At least with the boys. I stood out and became somebody special. Lots of dates but no friends. Couldn't find one girl / best friend I could tell my tentative love adventures to, and all those little secrets teens have and just need to share with somebody. That's when I realized that I was so different that the others at first avoided me then hated me. Only the girls though. Boys always seemed to like the girl who's not like the others.
I changed once again, Plan-B, by making myself humble and attentive, more of a good companion than somebody only popular with the boys. I was extra nice to the girls, friendly, helpful, considerate, and make myself available for whoever that seeks my company. Doing my best to be a friend, instead of trying to shine above them.
That worked like magic, and I found myself enjoying sharing all that I knew or possessed. No treasure you own seems so valuable until it was shared and admired also by others or at least one other. With the passing of years, I also learned that people share far more similarities than differences. Sure none of us have an exact equal; everyone of us is unique, but because of that we need communication and company. To celebrate each other's achievements or successes, as well as learning from each other's mistakes or failures. However unique a person doesn't by himself make a world.
I finally learned to be me, the real me. No matter what and how others think, act, say or criticise, and no matter how disappointed I might feel being let down, I will simply be myself and always do my best. I needn't seek anybody else's approval, except my own.
I have finally found the Me I can live in peace with. I like the way I am now. Just me, no more, no less.
An after-thought: - With my highest respect to everyone's privacy, I stress that this is no more than just a thought: Would some of you like to tell a bit more of yourselves too? To give us a chance to know one another better? To be friends not just contacts?
Current Mood:
accomplished
An interesting blog and article - its good to know you and you have quite a story. Am glad you are happy and are at peace with yourself for that is who you are.
ReplyDeleteSome people take the highroad others take the low road and some even fall to the wayside it is how things were taught me. Respect for others and respect yourself as well know yourself. So I have always mucked in with the elders as I was not getting along too easily in the childish circles...odd really that nowadays I don't ever think in that particular realm so I guess it is something that comes with age and perhaps built-up with the wisdom as well. I do find that am still the very shy person that I was way back when though it is a different experience today. Am not as goal orientated that I once was and am less competitive again this is probably down to hearing or having to put up with so much nonsense that something had to give. People do change and I have had to change in many areas of life. I am finding my feet though it is taking its time and so the corners being chipped off of just about everything in life has made me wary. Independence has its good-bad points too...for example its harder to find and make friends even though one makes the effort friendship it is a two-way street and has to be from both sides and not the one-side.
Thanks Bernard for the prompt response; more than that, your personal thoughts & views on the subject I raised. Very few people read Blogs, fewer still would take the time & bother to digest it and respond to it. You always do and to the point, which is what I always do too, unless the Blogs are jokes or some nonsense entertaining but not thought provoking.
ReplyDeleteYours here is interesting and a good article too. Copy that with whatever other thoughts related, and post it on your page. It would help your contacts know you better and, who knows, some might turned into friends.
You made my day and I wish yours be a great one.
Thank You am glad you enjoyed reading - thanks also for the tip - have a great day :-)
ReplyDelete