Dear Dad ...

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything was tidy. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed to Dad. With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands.

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you. I've been finding real passion with Stacey, and she is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her, because of her piercings, tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am. But it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with the other people in the commune, for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for Aid, so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it! Don't worry Dad, I am 15, and I know how to take care of myself and Stacy. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know your many grandchildren.

Love, your son Ryan.

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at George's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that's on my desk.

Call when it is safe for me to come home.

Tags:Dad,AIDs

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