Jewish Humour

I love Jewish jokes and hope that you will find the tone of these funny rather than offensive.

** A car hit an elderly Jewish man. The paramedic says, 'Are you comfortable?'

The man says, 'I make a good living.'

** I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport.

** I've been in love with the same woman for 49 years. If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me!

** Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.

** We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

** My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night, only this time I stayed in the loo and cried.

** She was at the beauty shop for two hours. That was only for the estimate. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

** The Doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so the doctor gave him another six months.

** The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, 'Mrs. Cohen, your cheque came back.

Mrs. Cohen answered, 'So did my arthritis!'

** Doctor: You'll live to be 60.

Patient: I AM 60.

Doctor: See! What did I tell you?

Tag:JewishHumour

• Current Mood: amused