For Ladies Over 60 With Good Humour

** Women over 60 don't have babies because they would put them down and forget where they left them.

** One of life's mysteries is how a 2-pound box of chocolates can make a woman gain 5lbs.

** My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.

** The best way to forget your troubles is to wear tight shoes.

** The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you are doing, someone else does.

** The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.

** Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.

** Sometimes I think I understand everything, and then I regain consciousness.

** I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and
setting fire to my knickers.

** Every 7 minutes of everyday, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.

** Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks 2 sizes!

** Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like..."You know, sometimes I forget to eat!" ... Now... I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name and my keys. But I have never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat.

** A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills ... She has 14 kids but doesn't really care.

** My body is not all that communicative but I heard from it the other day after I said "Body, how would you like to go to the six o'clock class of vigorous toning?" Clear as a bell my body said "Listen witch ... do it and die."

** The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him.

** I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are: eating too much; impulse buying and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That's my idea of a perfect day!

I don't remember where I heard said: 'I only consider myself old when I see my children are already old'. Since I don't have children, I would never be old! - Besides, being old is not that bad; the alternative is much worse.

LIVE SIMPLY ... LAUGH OFTEN ... LOVE DEEPLY, WHATEVER YOUR AGE!

Tags:Ladies,Humour

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