Giggles To Begin The Week

** In The Cinema ~

Pardon me, lady", said the man trying to get back to his seat in the darkened movie theater, "but did I step on your toes a few minutes ago?"

"You certainly did!!", said the woman in the aisle seat.

"Good, then I'm in the right row!" the man said as he went back to his seat.

** Higher Education ~

A dog is so smart that his master decides to send him to college.

Home for vacation, his master asks him how college is going.

"Well", says the dog, "I'm not doing too great in science and math, but I have made a lot of progress in foreign languages."

"Really!" says the master. "Say something in a foreign language."

The dog says, "Meow !

** What A Wife ~

My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas.
She hasn't lost weight, but boy can she climb a tree!

She was at the beauty shop for two hours.
That was only for the estimate.

She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.

We always hold hands.
If I let go, she shops.

My wife has a black belt in shopping.

My wife will buy anything marked down.
Last year she bought an escalator.

All my wife does is shop.
Once she was sick for a week, and three stores went under.

When I married my wife, she told me I was one in a million.
Only after learning of her past did I realize what she meant.

** Men Verses Woman ~

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful. 

** How Does My Ass Look? ~

 

Harry's wife says, "Harry, do these jeans make my ass look like the side of the house?"
He says, "No, our house isn't blue."

** Difference?

What is the difference between a Marriage and a Tornado?

There is no difference. First, there is a lot of sucking and blowing - and then your house is gone.

Tags:MondayGiggles

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