Giggles To End The Week

** Daddy's Trick ~ The little boy greeted his grandmother with a hug and said, "I'm so happy to see you grandma. Now maybe daddy will do the trick he has been promising us." Grandma was curious: "What trick is that my dear?" she asked. The little boy replied, "I heard daddy tell mummy that he would climb the walls if you came to visit us again." ** Walking Economy ~ This guy is walking with his friend, who happens to be a psychologist. He says to this friend, "I'm a walking economy." The friend asks, "How so?" "My hair line is in recession, my stomach is a victim of inflation, and both of these together are putting me into a deep depression!" ** Welcome ~ Bert took his Saint Bernard to the vet. "Doctor," he said sadly, "I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to cut off my dog's tail." The vet stepped back, "Bert, why should I do such a terrible thing?" "Because my mother-in-law's arriving tomorrow, and I don't want anything to make her think she's welcome." ** Customer Service ~ I'm not saying that the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I went in the other day and asked the clerk to check my balance she leaned over and pushed me. ** Parking Space ~ A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter. Then he put a note under the wind-shield wiper that read: "I have circled the block 10 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment. Forgive us our trespasses." When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note. "I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't give you a ticket, I'll lose my job. Lead us not into temptation."

** College exam plea ~

O Lord, hear my anxious plea
Calculus is killing me
I know not of 'dx' or 'dy'
And probably won't until the day I die.

Please, Lord, help me in this hour
As I take my case to the highest power.
I care not for fame or loot
Just help me find one square root.

And Lord, please let me see
One passing mark in organic chemistry.
Oh such a thing I constantly dread
I'd just as soon join the Marines instead.

Lord, please give me a sign
That you've been listening all the time.
Please lead me out of this constant coma
And give me a shot at my diploma.

Tags:Weekend,Giggles

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