A Serious Chat With Mum

** Phone chat with Mum Rita sprang to answer the telephone. "Darling, How are you? This is Mummy." "Oh Mummy," Rita said crying, "I'm having a bad day. The baby won't eat and the washing machine won't work. I've sprained my ankle and I'm hobbling around. On top of all this, the house is a mess and I'm supposed to have the Jones and the Smiths for dinner tonight. I haven't even had a chance to go shopping." The voice on the other end said in sympathy, "Darling, let Mummy handle it. Sit down, relax and close your eyes. I'll be over in half an hour. I'll do your shopping, tidy up the house and cook your dinner. I'll feed the baby and I'll call an engineer I know who'll fix your washing machine. Now stop crying. I'll even call your husband David at the office and tell him he should come home to help out for once." "David?" said Rita. "Who's David?" "Why, David, your husband! ... Is this 0208 123 3749?" "No, this is 0208 123 3747." "Oh, I'm sorry. I guess I dialled the wrong number." There was a short pause, then Rita said, "Does this mean you're not coming over to help?" ** Q. and A. Q. What does a woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails so long and beautiful? A. Nothing, nothing at all. Q. Did you say you were going with the idea of natural childbirth? A. Yes. No make up whatsoever. Tags:mum,chat

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