Braggers, Ventriloquist And The Psychic

** The braggers

Becky, Sadie and Hannah are bragging about their sons.

Becky says, "My son is very successful. He is the best lawyer in London."
Sadie says, "My son has done better than that. He is the best doctor in London."
Hannah says, "My son has not done that well. He does not have a very good job and he is gay. But he has these two great boyfriends - one is the best lawyer in London and the other is the best doctor in London."

** One Upmanship

Moshe was at his golf club and went into the clubhouse to see whether anyone could offer him a lift to Hendon. His own car was off the road being serviced.
 

"Sure," said Morry, "I'll give you a lift. My Rolls Royce is just outside."

As they're driving along, Moshe says, "Morry, what's that thing on the dashboard ticking all the time?"
"That's my digital clock."
A few minutes later, Moshe asks, "And what's that thing on the dashboard moving up and down?"
"That's my tachometer," says Morry.
Then a few minutes after that, Moshe starts to ask, "But what's that ..."
 

"Hold on a minute, Moshe," says Morry, "I can see you've never been in a Rolls Royce before."
"Never in the front seat." says Moshe.

** The ventriloquist

Issy had received no work for six months. So he went to his agent and told him he needed work badly.
His agent said, "There's no call for ventriloquists, but there's plenty of work for psychics."

So Issy went home and hung a psychic sign outside his house. Within an hour, a woman knocks on the door and says, "I want to talk to my deceased Bernie. How much will it cost me?'

"If you just talk to him, £50. If he talks to you, a bit more, £75." Issy replies. "But if you talk to each other while I'm drinking a glass of water, that will be £150." "

Tag:ventriloquist,braggers

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