Friday, 1 February 2013

What's & Why's To Offend Everybody

Feb 01
* What do you call 2 Mexicans playing basketball? -- Juan on Juan
* What is a Yankee? -- The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
* What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover? -- The position of the dirt bag.
* Why is divorce so expensive? -- Because it's worth it.
* What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? -- Doughnuts.
* Why is air a lot like sex? -- Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
* What do you call a smart blonde? -- A golden retriever.
* What do attorneys use for birth control? -- Their personalities.
* What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife? -- 10 years and 45 lbs.
* What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband? -- 45 minutes.
* What is the fastest way to a man's heart? -- Through his chest with a sharp knife.
* Why do men want to marry virgins? -- They can't stand criticism.
* Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good looking? Because those men already have boyfriends.
* What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? -- After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
* Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? -- The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
* Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex? -- Because they have cotton balls.
* What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW? -- A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
* What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? -- 'Are you sure it's mine?'
* Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex? -- Mace will do that to you.
* Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia? -- Everyone has the same DNA.
* Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays & Fridays? -- Because on Tuesdays & Thursdays the Sex Ed class uses it.
* Where does an Irish family go on vacation? -- A different bar.
* Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a blonde baby? They named him 'Sum Ting Wong'
* What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? -- A speech impediment.
* What's the difference between a southern zoo & a northern zoo? -- A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with a recipe.
* How do you get a sweet 80-year-old lady to say the F-word? -- Get another sweet 80-year-old to yell 'BINGO!'
* What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? -- A northern fairytale begins 'Once upon a time ...' and a southern fairytale begins ''Y' all ain't gonna believe this shit ...

Tags:What,Why
  • Current Mood: amused Amused

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