** Reason for divorce
Hymie is telling his friends about his recent divorce. "Yes, it’s true. Sylvie divorced me for religious reasons. She worshipped money and I didn't have any."
Hymie is telling his friends about his recent divorce. "Yes, it’s true. Sylvie divorced me for religious reasons. She worshipped money and I didn't have any."
** The birthday present
Avrahom walks into John Lewis department store and goes straight to the perfumery department. He says to an assistant, "Today is my wife Sharon’s birthday and I would like to buy her a nice bottle of French perfume.
The assistant says, "That will be a nice surprise for her."
Avrahom replies, "It sure will – she’s expecting a diamond necklace."
Avrahom walks into John Lewis department store and goes straight to the perfumery department. He says to an assistant, "Today is my wife Sharon’s birthday and I would like to buy her a nice bottle of French perfume.
The assistant says, "That will be a nice surprise for her."
Avrahom replies, "It sure will – she’s expecting a diamond necklace."
** Business failure
Benny was talking to his best friend Harry. “You know Harry, I can’t understand why you failed in business. You had such good ideas.”
“Too much advertising was the main reason for my failure,” replied Harry.
“But I can’t remember you spending a penny on advertising all your life,” said Benny.
“You’re correct there,“ said Harry, “but all my competitors did.”
Benny was talking to his best friend Harry. “You know Harry, I can’t understand why you failed in business. You had such good ideas.”
“Too much advertising was the main reason for my failure,” replied Harry.
“But I can’t remember you spending a penny on advertising all your life,” said Benny.
“You’re correct there,“ said Harry, “but all my competitors did.”
** The present
As little Rivkah climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual question, "And what would you like for Christmas?"
Rivkah stared at him, open mouthed and horrified, then gasped, "Didn't you get my email?"
As little Rivkah climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual question, "And what would you like for Christmas?"
Rivkah stared at him, open mouthed and horrified, then gasped, "Didn't you get my email?"
** What charge?
It was Christmas and Judge Levy was in a merry mood as he asked the defendant, "What are you charged with?"
It was Christmas and Judge Levy was in a merry mood as he asked the defendant, "What are you charged with?"
"Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
"But that's not an offence," said Judge Levy.
"It is if you do it before the shop opens," said the defendant.
"But that's not an offence," said Judge Levy.
"It is if you do it before the shop opens," said the defendant.
** Money, money
Maurice and Sadie were having a heated discussion on family finances. Finally Maurice exploded,
Maurice and Sadie were having a heated discussion on family finances. Finally Maurice exploded,
"If it weren't for my money, this house wouldn't be here."
"Darling, if it weren't for your money, I wouldn't be here." Sadie replied
"Darling, if it weren't for your money, I wouldn't be here." Sadie replied
Current Mood: 
Amused
Amused
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