~*~ Groucho Marx Humor ~*~
* I would never belong to a club that would have me as a member.
* Those are my principles. If you don't like them, I have others.
* Women should be obscene and not heard.
* I never forget a face, but in your case, I'll be glad to make an exception.
* I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
* Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and I think it's you.
* He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot, but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
* Room service? Send up a larger room.
* How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them.
* Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
* Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
* Last night I shot an elephant in my pyjamas and how he got in my pyjamas I'll never know.
* Now there's a man with an open mind—you can feel the breeze from here.
* I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions—the curtain was up.
* Although it is generally known, I think it's about time to announce that I was born at a very early age.
* Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
* Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. (Groucho should know, he was married three times)
* The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his chequebook open.
* Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
* I could dance with you till the cows come home, on second thought I'll dance with the cows till you come home.
* I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
* From the moment I picked your book up until I put it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
*
Look, if you don't like my parties, you can leave in a huff. If that's
too soon, leave in a minute and a huff. If you can't find that, you can
leave in a taxi.
Tags:GrouchoMarx,Humour
Current Mood: 
Amused
Amused
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