Definition Of Marriage - Sarcastic, Funny & Almost True

* With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

* The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

* Do you think marriage is a lottery? No. With a lottery you do have a slight chance.

* Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.

* Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.

* A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

* I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

* Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

* The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

* When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

* I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. * I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.

* My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got two girlfriends.

* How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.

* Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.

* The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they're too old to do it.
* Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
* I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewellery.

* My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way. * My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

* I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There's water in the carburetor." I said, "Where's the car?" She said, "In the lake."

* At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied, "Yes, I am, I married the wrong man."

* After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."

* A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

* Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

* A husband said to his wife, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine."

* A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.

* A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can have whatever he wants, provided that his mother-in-law gets double. The man thinks for a moment and then says, "OK, give me a million dollars and beat me half to death."

Tag:DefinitionOfMarriage

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