If You Think You Have Heard All Blonde Jokes ...

Blonde on phone: "How long does it take to fly to Hong Kong?"
Travel Agent: "Just a minute, Madam . . ."
Blonde on phone: "Thanks very much".

A blonde goes to the council to register for child benefit.

"How many children?" asks the council worker "10" replies the blonde.

"10???" says the council worker.. "What are their names?"
"Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne and Wayne"
"Doesn't that get confusing?"
"Naah..." says the blonde. "its great because if they are out playing in the street I just have to shout WAAYNE, YER DINNER'S READY or WAAYNE GO TO BED NOW and they all do it..."
"What if you want to speak to one individually?" says the perturbed council worker.
"That's easy," says the blonde. "I just use their surnames."

"A banker got confused about mathematics, so he asks his blonde secretary:
"If I give you $3 million less 17%, how much would you take off?" She replies:
"Everything sir ... The dress, the shoes, bra and even my G-string."

A blonde was showing off her new fur coat.
'It was very kind of your husband to buy it for you,' remarked her friend.
'He had to,' replied the blonde. 'I caught him kissing the maid.'
'Did you sack her at once?'
'No,' she said, 'I still need a new car.'

 

A blonde was passing a country estate and saw a sign on the gate. It read: "Please ring bell for the caretaker." She rang the bell and an old man appeared.
"Are you the caretaker?" the blonde asked.
"Yes, I am," replied the old man. "What do you want?"
"I'd just like to know why you can't ring the bell yourself."

Two blondes went into a pub, ordered two beers, took some sandwiches out of their packs and started to eat them. "You can't eat your own sandwiches in here," complained the pub-owner. The two blondes stopped, looked at each other, then swapped their sandwiches.

A blonde was getting into her car, and this bloke says to her 'My car just broke down. Can you give me a lift?' The blonde said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it."

Tag:blondes

Current Mood: Amused