1st July 2011 Funny Things To Say ...
Son, employees are like mules. Some you stand in front of and coax them along with a carrot. Some you stand behind and kick them in the ass. The key to management is knowing which mules are which.
Men should be like Kleenex, soft, strong and disposable.
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?
I have opinions of my own - strong opinions - but I don't always agree with them. - George W. Bush
"One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures." -George W. Bush
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world.
Money doesn't make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million. (Bill Gate would not have said that,; he can't even visualize what a tiny sum like $50 million is)
He's so lazy that if there were work in bed, he would rather sleep on the floor.
Who are you and how did you get in here? Frank: 'I'm a locksmith. And ... I'm a locksmith ...'
'How did the German conquer Poland so fast?' 'They walked in backwards and the polish thought they were leaving.'
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