Memory Test ~
Three elderly men, Eddie, Jenkin and Martin men go to the doctor's for their memory test. It's a miracle they remembered the appointment! Anyway, the doctor begins by asking Eddie, "What is five times five?"
"191," is his reply.
"191," is his reply.
The doctor rolls his eyes and looks up at the ceiling, and says to Jenkin, "It's your turn. What is five times five?"
"Wednesday," replies Jenkin man.
"Wednesday," replies Jenkin man.
The doctor shakes his head sadly, then asks the third man, "Okay Martin it's your turn. What's five times five?"
"Twenty five," says Martin.
"Twenty five," says Martin.
"That's great!" says the doctor. "How did you get your answer?"
"Easy," says Martin, "just subtract 191 from Wednesday."
"Easy," says Martin, "just subtract 191 from Wednesday."
Wise Italian Grandfather ~
An old Italian man is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside: Guido, I wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated .38 revolver so you will always remember me.'
'But Gandpa, I reall don't like guns. How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?'
'You lissina me, boy. Somma day you gonna be runna DA business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big house and maybe a couple of bambinos.
'Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with another man. Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, "Times up"?'
(That's Why Italian Fathers and Grandfathers pass their handguns down through the family)
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