- At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, 'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?' The other replied, 'Yes, I am, I married the wrong man.'
- After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, 'You know, I was a fool when I married you.' The husband replied, 'Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice.'
- A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'
- When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
- Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
- I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
- I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.
- Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
- My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got two girlfriends.
- A husband said to his wife, 'No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine.'
- A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can have whatever he wants, provided that his mother-in-law gets double. The man thinks for a moment and then says, 'OK, give me a million dollars and beat me half to death.'
- How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.
- A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.
- The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
Tags: marriagethoughts
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