9th Sept 2011 Paraprosdokian - Mixture Of Wit & Unexpected Humour

Paraprosdokian is a figure of speech, well understood and often used by comedians. The key point is that the final words are surprising and unexpected, making the reader or listener see the first part of the sentence in a new light. Here are some examples:

Sarcastic and funny ~

• If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
• We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
• Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
• The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
• I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way; so I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
• Do not argue with an idiot; he will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
• The last thing I want to do is hurt you; but it's still on the list.
• Light travels faster than sound; this is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
• If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?
• War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

 

Descriptive or philosophical ~

• To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
• A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
• How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
• I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.
• A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
• I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
• Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but they have to check when you say the paint is wet?
• Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America ?
• Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
• Evening News is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed by telling you why it isn't.

 

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