** Cats and Chess
Martha is walking in St James park when she sees her friend Roger playing chess with his cat.
Martha says to Roger, 'I can't believe what I'm seeing, a cat that plays chess, what a clever animal.'
Quick as a flash Roger replies, 'No Martha, this cat's not clever at all - I'm beating it 6 games to 2.'
** Greed
In front of the local butcher's, an art connoisseur noticed a mangy little kitten lapping up milk from a saucer. The saucer, he realised with a start, was a rare and precious piece of pottery. It was, in fact, a collector's item.
He strolled into the store and offered two pounds for the cat. 'He's not for sale', said the butcher.
'Look', said the collector', that cat is dirty and scabby, but I'm an eccentric. I prefer cats that way. I'll raise my offer to ten pounds'. 'It's a deal', said the proprietor, and pocketed the ten immediately.'For that amount of money I'm sure you won't mind throwing in the saucer', said the connoisseur', 'The kitten seems so happy drinking from it.'
'I can't do that', said the butcher firmly, 'That's my lucky saucer. From that saucer, so far this week, I've sold 18 cats.'
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