26th Nov 2011 The Eternal Man / Woman Issue

• At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, 'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?' The other replied, 'Yes, I am, I married the wrong man.'
• My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
• After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, 'You know, I was a fool when I married you.' The husband replied, 'Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice.'
• A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted' . Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'
• When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
• The only thing worse than a man you can't control is a man you can.
• Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
• There is no reciprocity. Men love women, women love children, children love hamsters.
• 'It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time.'
• A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
• To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot & not try to understand her at all.
• Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
• Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
• Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
• A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
• A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
• There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage and after marriage.
• My opinions are my wife's, and she says I'm lucky to have them.

Tags: woman, man

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