- You're never too old to learn something stupid.
- When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
- To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
- A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.
- Some people hear voices.. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
- A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
- If winning isn't everything why do they keep score?
- If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you!
- A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
- Hallmark Card: "I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're still here."
- Whoever coined the phrase "Quiet as a mouse" has never stepped on one.
- If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?
- Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
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