20th Feb 2012 Trials & Tribulations Of Marriage

1. Marriage is great! ~

Only last week, in the local pub, I bumped into Ricky. We chatted over a pint and he surprised me by announcing, 'Mark, Rosie and I are getting a divorce.'

I was stunned, 'Why? What happened, you two seem so happy together.'

'Well,' Ricky stated, 'ever since we got married, Rosie has tried to change me. She got me to stop drinking, smoking, running around at all hours of the night and more. She taught me how to dress well, enjoy the fine arts, gourmet cooking, classical music and how to invest in the stock market.'

'Are you a little bitter because she spent so much time trying to change you?' I probed.
'Nah, I'm not bitter,' Ricky continued, 'now that I'm so improved, Rosie just isn't good enough for me.'

2. Wife's Birthday ~

'Today is my wife's birthday,' announces Archie to his mate, Bert.

'What are you getting for her?' enquires Bert.

'Make me an offer!' responds Archie with a grin.

3. Foolish Marriage ~

After a lengthy quarrel, Mandy said to her husband, Dave, 'You know, I was a fool when I married you.'

Dave replied quickly, 'Yes, Mandy, but I was in love and didn't notice it.'

4. Wedding Engagement ~

Enid, the bride to be, upon her engagement, went to her mother and told her, 'I've found a man just like father.'

Her mother replied, 'So, Enid, what do you want from me, sympathy?'

5. Beauty and the Beast ~

Mrs Brown: 'Don't you think that man over there is the ugliest person you've ever seen?'
Mrs Parr: 'That's my husband.'
Mrs Brown: 'Oh dear, I'm so sorry.'
Mrs Parr: 'YOU are sorry ... ?!!'

Tags: marriage

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