3rd Feb 2012 Just For A Laugh

The Vicar & The Parrot ~

'Now, you're sure it doesn't scream, yell, or swear?' The Vicar inquired.

'Oh absolutely. It's a religious parrot,' the storekeeper assures him. 'Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the Lord's Prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm.' 

'Brilliant. Wonderful!' grins the Vicar, 'but what happens if I pull both strings?' 

'I fall off my perch, you twit!' screeches the parrot.

Customer Bowled Over By Service ~

A car mechanic received a repair order that said to check for a clanking noise when going around corners so he took the car out for a test drive and made a right turn, then a left turn, each time hearing a loud clunk.

When he arrived back at the garage he returned the car to the service manager with this note: 'Removed bowling ball from trunk.' 

The T.V. is No Joke ~

 

I got in a fight with my wife last night and it was totally my fault.

She asked me what was on the TV and I said: dust.

Didn't go too well after that. 

Shame On You ~

 

'You should be ashamed,' the father told his son, Andy, 'When Abraham Lincoln was your age, he used to walk ten miles every day to get to school.' 

'Really?' Andy responded. 'Well, when he was your age, he was president.' 

Near Death Experience ~

 

A boss asked one of his employees, 'Do you believe in life after death?'

'Yes, sir,' replied the new employee.

'I thought you would,' said the boss. 'Yesterday after you left to go to your brother's funeral, he stopped by to see you.'

Homework ~ 

 

Draw a Picture of Mummy at Work

Here is a copy of Mummy's note, the next day, for the teacher: 

Dear Miss Greenwood,

That is not a dance pole on stage in a dancing club. I work at Wal Mart and that's me selling a shovel.

Yours faithfully, Sarah Fogarty.

Tags: forlaugh

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