Time Cures ~
'Doctor Mayo,' John says, 'Whenever I get up after a sleep, I feel dizzy for half an hour, then I'm all right.'
'Doctor Mayo,' John says, 'Whenever I get up after a sleep, I feel dizzy for half an hour, then I'm all right.'
'Then wait for half an hour before getting up,' replies Doctor Mayo conclusively.
Home Or Away? ~
A famous surgeon went on a safari in Africa. When he came back, his colleagues asked him how it had been. 'Oh, it was very disappointing,' he said. 'I didn't kill a thing. I'd have been better off staying here in the hospital.'
Father Or Son? ~
Iain speaks frantically into the phone, 'My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart.'
'Is this her first child?' the doctor queries.
'No, you idiot.' Iain shouts. 'This is her husband.'
Keep Taking the Medicine ~
Patient: It's been one month since my last visit and I still feel miserable.
Doctor: Did you follow the instructions on the medicine I gave you?
Patient: I sure did - the bottle said 'keep tightly closed.'
Quick Diagnosis ~
Nurse: 'Doctor, Doctor the man you've just treated collapsed on the front step. What should I do?'
Doctor: 'Turn him around so it looks like he was just arriving!'
Eating Disorder ~
A mother complained to her consultant about her daughter's strange eating habits. 'All day long she lies in bed and eats yeast and car wax. What will happen to her?'
'Eventually,' said the consultant, 'she will rise and shine.'
A live-in face ~
When I was born the doctor took one look at my face ... turned me over and said. 'Look ... twins! '
Headache? ~
For a headache, nothing acts faster than Anadin. So I take nothing.
What Vision! ~
Amy to X-ray technician after swallowing some money:
'Do you see any change in me?'
Home Or Away? ~
A famous surgeon went on a safari in Africa. When he came back, his colleagues asked him how it had been. 'Oh, it was very disappointing,' he said. 'I didn't kill a thing. I'd have been better off staying here in the hospital.'
Father Or Son? ~
Iain speaks frantically into the phone, 'My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart.'
'Is this her first child?' the doctor queries.
'No, you idiot.' Iain shouts. 'This is her husband.'
Keep Taking the Medicine ~
Patient: It's been one month since my last visit and I still feel miserable.
Doctor: Did you follow the instructions on the medicine I gave you?
Patient: I sure did - the bottle said 'keep tightly closed.'
Quick Diagnosis ~
Nurse: 'Doctor, Doctor the man you've just treated collapsed on the front step. What should I do?'
Doctor: 'Turn him around so it looks like he was just arriving!'
Eating Disorder ~
A mother complained to her consultant about her daughter's strange eating habits. 'All day long she lies in bed and eats yeast and car wax. What will happen to her?'
'Eventually,' said the consultant, 'she will rise and shine.'
A live-in face ~
When I was born the doctor took one look at my face ... turned me over and said. 'Look ... twins! '
Headache? ~
For a headache, nothing acts faster than Anadin. So I take nothing.
What Vision! ~
Amy to X-ray technician after swallowing some money:
'Do you see any change in me?'
Tags: doctor
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