Doctor Makes A Pig's Ear Of Operation ~
Earlier
this year Winston lost his ear. Luck would have it that it was
replaced, with a pigs ear, by doctors. They cut it to size and made it
look more human before sewing it, invisibly, in place.
Several weeks passed before Winston felt it necessary to return to his surgeons.
When
he did, Winston complained bitterly, 'Doctor, I keep hearing this
noise and its doing my head in. 'The doctor, totally unconcerned
answered, 'Don't worry, its just a bit of crackling.'
The Patient's X-Ray ~
Doctor Khan was giving a lecture to a group of medical students at the city hospital.
Pointing
to the x-ray, he explained: "As you can see, this patient limps
because his right fibula and tibia are radically arched."
The doctor looked up at the assembled students, and asked Sidney "Now what would you do in a case like this?"
Sidney piped up: "I suppose I would limp too."
The Specialist ~
'What kind of work do you do?' a woman passenger enquired of the man travelling in her train compartment.
'I'm a Naval surgeon,' he replies.
'My word!' spluttered the woman, 'How you doctors specialise these days.'
Beware Of Your Doctor Uttering These Phrases During Surgery ~- Damn! Page 47 of the manual is missing!
- Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.
- Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?
- Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.
- ... and could you stop that thing from beating; it's throwing my concentration off.
- Anyone see where I left that scalpel?
- Orthodox medicine has not found an answer to your complaint. However, luckily for you, I happen to be a quack.
- FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!
Next: 21st Feb 2012 An Irresistible Ad.
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