15th May 2012 Today's Dose Of Laugh

** Who Was She Expecting? ~

An unidentified English woman, according to the Sunday Express was climbing into the bathtub one afternoon when she remembered she had left some crumpets in the oven.

Naked, she dashed downstairs and was removing the crumpets when she heard a noise at the door. Thinking it was the baker, and knowing he would come in and leave a loaf of bread on the kitchen table if she didn't answer his knock, the woman darted into the broom cupboard.

A few moments later she heard the back door open and, to her eternal mortification, the sound of footsteps coming toward the cupboard. It was the man from the gas company, who had come to read the meter.

"Oh," stammered the woman, "I was expecting the baker." The gas man blinked, excused himself and departed with a suppressed smile.

** Toothless wonder ~

 

A man in Brevard County, Florida, has reported to the authorities that someone reached into his mouth and removed his gold teeth as he slept.

Detectives said they had responded to a reported theft at a home in Florida on Sunday. The report, by the Sheriff's office, said Bryan Osteen had spoken to officers and told them that someone had entered his bedroom and taken the teeth, worth $80 USD [£43] out of his mouth. Osteen said that he is a heavy sleeper and did not wake up during the incident. He added that he had friends at his home and believes one of them might have had something to do with the crime.

** Relatives ~

 

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'

'Yep, 'the wife replied, 'in-laws.'

Tags: doseoflaugh

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