** Difficult Landing & The Puzzled Passenger ~
The
airline had a policy that required the first officer to stand at the
door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for
flying XYZ airline".
An
airline pilot on this particular flight hammered his plane into the
runway really hard. In light of his bad landing, he had difficulty
looking the passengers in the eye, all the time he thought that a
passenger would have a smart comment. However, it seemed that all the
passengers were too shell shocked to say anything.
Finally,
everyone had gotten off except for this little old lady walking with a
cane. She said, "Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?" "Why no Ma'am,"
said the pilot, "What is it", the little old lady said, "Did we land
or were we shot down?"
** Aircrew of the Month ~
From
a Stingem Airline employee: "Welcome aboard Stingem Flight XXX to YYY.
"We are pleased to have some of the best pilots in the industry...
Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight...!"
Then
he progressed to the famous "Fasten Seatbelt Routine". What he said
was: "To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle,
and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt, and if you
don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public
unsupervised.
In
the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will
descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it
over your face. If you have a small child travelling with you, secure
your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are travelling with two
or more small children, decide now which one you love the more."
After
the plane landed, he said: "As you exit the plane, make sure to gather
all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed
evenly among the flight attendants"
His
final announcement was: "Thank you for flying Stingem Airlines. We
hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking
you for a ride."
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