The Aunty Test

The Aunty of Will who writes, collects and publishes jokes online would not have been able to do so without passing 'The Aunty Test' first, because Aunty would not approve of any joke, story, picture; given that she won't tolerate blue jokes and has never been known to utter a swear word, or a blasphemy of any kind. Fortunately, Aunty has no interest in, or access to, a computer.
 

Aunty is not all that she seems though. For a start, she frequently uses the one word that is so taboo that it cannot be used on British television - even after the 9 O clock watershed. This word is sometimes whispered as a single letter, found near the middle of the alphabet between 'm' and 'p'. Aunty has been using the word unabashed since the 1920s.
 

Once a week Aunty drives from her village to the local town. Increasingly she found it difficult to find a parking spot in the high street. Eventually she decided to park on the wiggly waggly lines. In fact she regarded the wiggly waggly lines as her own private parking space. Aunty had a point in that she had been parking in the high street on a Thursday for longer than anyone could remember. However, in law, she had no leg to stand on as the wiggly waggly lines were part of the pedestrian crossing.
 

The local traffic warden and policemen must have warned, cautioned and booked her at least twenty times, but it had no effect, she continued to park on the wiggly waggly lines every Thursday.
 

After a while her cases came to court, but she was never convicted of any offence. Rumour has it that one of her cases was adjourned seventeen times because each time a different magistrate had to decline her case because they knew her personally. At least five magistrates were blood relatives, and many of the others had used her as a referee when they had applied to be a magistrate.
 

The matter was only resolved when three senior members of her family, magistrates all, bearded Aunty in her lair. They pointed out gingerly the embarrassment that they faced when dealing with her summonses and asked her as a personal favour, if she would stop parking on the wiggly waggly lines.'

I'll stop right away' she said, 'but one of you will have to drive me into town each Thursday'.

'Done deal' they said in unison.

Tags: AuntyTest,AuntyCase