** I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
** Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
** Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
** The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
** The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
** To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
** When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
** A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
** A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.
** Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.
** We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.
** When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.
** The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.
** The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground
** The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
** If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
** A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
** Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
** In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
** The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
** If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
** With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
** Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.
** When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
** The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
** A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.
** You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
** Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.
** He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
Tags: WiseCracks
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