** Why won't sharks attack lawyers? - Professional courtesy.
** What went wrong when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? - Not enough sand.
** What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")? - When a bus load of lawyers goes off a cliff.
** What is the definition of a "crying shame"? - There was an empty seat.
** How many lawyers does it take to stop a moving bus? - Never enough.
** Have you heard about the lawyers word processor? -No matter what font you select, everything come out in fine print.
** What do you buy a friend graduating from Law School? - A lobotomy.
** What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo? - The lawyer charges more.
** Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses? - From chasing parked ambulances.
** What do you call a lawyer with an I.Q. of 50? -Your Honor.
** What do you call a lawyer whose gone bad? - Senator.
** What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline? -You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline!
** How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? -His lips are moving.
** What's the difference between a dead dog and a dead lawyer in the road? - There are skid marks in front of the dog.
** How many lawyers does it take to roof a house? -Depends on how thin you slice them.
** What do lawyers do when they die ? - Lie still.
** What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? - A vampire only sucks blood at night.
** What is brown and black and looks good on a lawyer? - A Doberman.
** How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb? - Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
** Why did the post office recall the new lawyer stamps? - Because people could not tell which side to spit on.
Tags: Lawyers,Joke,Truth
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