** I can only please one person each day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either.
** Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
** Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.
** You can go anywhere you want if you look serious, wear a white coat and carry a clipboard.
** I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
** Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky, and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?
**
Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they aren't there the
first time, chances are you won't be needing them again.
** I don't have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.
** My reality check bounced.
** On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
** I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier.
** Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
** Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.
** A pat on the back is only a few centimetres from a kick in the butt.
** After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.
** Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
** People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn't.
** If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
** When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
**
When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more easily
by reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger handle
this?"
Tags: Crooked,LifeRules
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