Rewriting Destiny

Like most children, or more so teenagers, I used to dream of being somebody, not anybody, but Somebody who accomplish great things. I had wanted to be an artist who draws, paints, sketches. I also wanted to be a real good pianist, a violinist, a dancer, an actress .... but later on I shrank the list down to a fabulous dancer and a world famous writer. If I could be both, all the better.

 

Then I discovered boys and I dedicated more time checking them out than pursuing my dreams. Later on Destiny had my life planned out a different way and I was never either dancer or writer of any importance.

 

Yes I danced a lot and had written a few short articles for one newspaper and a couple of magazines, on trivial themes. But over the years, every single day when I have enough time for idle dreams, I still wonder how my life would have been, had I fought with tooth and nail to become a professional dancer or writer; on days when I permit myself the ultimate fantasy, both.

 

As profession, I became a teacher, but as a successful career I did well as a model. My definition of being successful at the time was only in term of income, not merit or job satisfaction, as neither of these had anything to do with writing or dancing. My passion for both have never diminished. If anything, it has become even stronger. As the saying goes, forbidden fruit always taste better. It might be that frustrated ambitions carry the same effect. 

 

I continue to dream about my life or, rather, what it might have been, perhaps far more often than it's good for me. No one can turn back the clock. But no one can stop me dreaming and practicing. So I do. 

 

I have done a lot of dancing, including seriously in the famous Pineapple Dance Studios in London which trains professional dancers for stage and the screen. I had even later been offered an assistant job as a dance instructress there. Again, destiny intervened. So now I write whenever I feel the inclination. But I am not a writer. I am just fond of writing. I admire good writers too much to try to imitate them without the solid ability to back up the ambition.

 

There are those who dream of becoming writers, here I mean people who want to write and do, which is different from those who just want to be writers. Two basic scenarios await with this profession. Or they are the successful ones, be it commercially or by full literary excellence, who live in spectacular mansions or villas, every other day dine in the Savoy of London or Maxims in Paris with other literary celebrities. Or the ones who live in shabby lodgings struggling with their 3rd hand computers, stale wine bottles and unpaid bills, but quite certain that once they die, success will redeem them. 

 

I don't see myself fit in either of these scenario. So here I am writing my daily Blogs.

 

Tags:Writer,Dancer,Teacher,Model