Happy Old Age (2)

** Doctor's Orders ~

Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. Anther couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said:

'You're really doing great, aren't you?'

Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'

The doctor said, 'I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'

** Fun with the hearing aid ~

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The old man went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said:

'Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.'

The old man replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times already!'

** A Baby ~

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement centre were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says:

'Slim, I', 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'

Slim says. 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'

'Really? Like a newborn baby?'

'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

** The flower witg thorns ~

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said,

'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.'

The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'

The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give someone you love? You know ... The one that's red and has thorns?'

'Do you mean a rose?'

'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'

** The wheelchair ~

Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital.
After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.

'I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.'
Tag:oldagefun

• Current Mood: amused