Happy Old Age (3)

** Peanuts ~

Dave was driving a bus load of pensioners to Brighton, on a day trip, when he was tapped on the shoulder by a little old lady. She offered him a handful of peanuts, which he happily took and ate. After about 20 minutes, she tapped him on his shoulder again and she handed him another handful of peanuts. The old dear repeated this generous gesture several more times. When she is about to hand him another batch again he decided to ask the little old lady, 'Why don't you and your friends eat the peanuts yourself?'.

'We can't chew them because we've no teeth', she answered.

Dave was puzzled and enquired, 'Then why on earth do you buy them?'

'Oh, we just love the chocolate around them,' replied the old lady.

** The old drunk ~

One day an inebriated man got on Dave's double-Decker bus and sat in the bottom deck close to Dave. Now, Dave is not meant to allow drunks onto his bus but he had a good heart and let the man stay on.

The old drunk started rambling on and on, so Dave suggested he should sit upstairs. 'The air is cleaner up there and you'll get a much better view.' The old man agreed, but returned a few minutes later.

'What's wrong?' Dave asked. 'Don't you like it better up there?'

'It's fine," the drunk said. 'But it's too dangerous: There's no driver up there.'

At the next stop two more drunks got onto a bus. The first asks 'Will this bus take me to 25th Street?' Dave says, 'No, it won't.'

After a pause, the second man inquires, 'What about me?'

Tag:oldagefun

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