** The rescue attempt
Jacob is a very religious man. One day, a nearby river floods its banks and rushes into town, forcing Jacob to climb onto his garage roof. Soon, a man in a boat comes along and tells Jacob to get in.
Jacob says, "That’s very kind of you, but no thanks. God will take care of me." So, the boat leaves.
The water rises and Jacob has to climb onto the roof of his house. Another man in a boat comes along and tells Jacob to get in.
Jacob replies, "That’s very kind of you but no thanks. God will take care of me." The boat leaves.
The water rises further and soon Jacob is clinging to his chimney. Then a helicopter arrives and lowers a ladder. The helicopter pilot tells Jacob to climb up the ladder.
Jacob replies, "That’s very kind of you but no thanks. God will take care of me."
The pilot says, "Are you really sure?"
Jacob says, "Yes, I'm sure that God will take care of me."
Finally, the water rises too high and Jacob drowns. He goes up to Heaven and is met by God.
Jacob says to God, "You told me you would take care of me. What happened?"
God replies, "Well, I sent you two boats and a helicopter. What else did you want me to do?"
** The sermon
One Shabbos, Rabbi Bloom told his congregation, "Next week, my sermon will be all about the sin of lying and to help you understand it better I would like you all to read Leviticus chapter 28 before next week."
The following Shabbos, at the start of his sermon, Rabbi Bloom asked his congregation,
"How many of you have read Leviticus 28?" Every hand went up.
Rabbi Bloom smiled and said,
"Leviticus has only 27 chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying."
Jacob is a very religious man. One day, a nearby river floods its banks and rushes into town, forcing Jacob to climb onto his garage roof. Soon, a man in a boat comes along and tells Jacob to get in.
Jacob says, "That’s very kind of you, but no thanks. God will take care of me." So, the boat leaves.
The water rises and Jacob has to climb onto the roof of his house. Another man in a boat comes along and tells Jacob to get in.
Jacob replies, "That’s very kind of you but no thanks. God will take care of me." The boat leaves.
The water rises further and soon Jacob is clinging to his chimney. Then a helicopter arrives and lowers a ladder. The helicopter pilot tells Jacob to climb up the ladder.
Jacob replies, "That’s very kind of you but no thanks. God will take care of me."
The pilot says, "Are you really sure?"
Jacob says, "Yes, I'm sure that God will take care of me."
Finally, the water rises too high and Jacob drowns. He goes up to Heaven and is met by God.
Jacob says to God, "You told me you would take care of me. What happened?"
God replies, "Well, I sent you two boats and a helicopter. What else did you want me to do?"
** The sermon
One Shabbos, Rabbi Bloom told his congregation, "Next week, my sermon will be all about the sin of lying and to help you understand it better I would like you all to read Leviticus chapter 28 before next week."
The following Shabbos, at the start of his sermon, Rabbi Bloom asked his congregation,
"How many of you have read Leviticus 28?" Every hand went up.
Rabbi Bloom smiled and said,
"Leviticus has only 27 chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying."
Current Mood: 
Amused
Amused
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