Q. & A.
Son: “How much does it cost to get married, Dad?”
Father: “I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.”
Father: “I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.”
Son: “Is it true, Dad? I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries.”
Father: “That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE.”
Q: How can you tell that Maurice is losing interest in his wife?
A: Because Maurice’s favourite sexual position is next door.
The frog said, "Old man, if you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess, I'll be yours forever and we can make mad passionate love every night."
Ken bent down and put the frog into his pocket and continued walking.
The frog said, "Hey, I don't think you heard me. I said if you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess and we can make passionate love every night."
Ken took the frog out of his pocket and said, "I heard you, but at my age I'd rather have a talking frog."
“Doctor,” says Esther, “just look at the mess I’m in. When I awoke this morning, I looked in the mirror and was shocked to see my hair all wiry, my skin wrinkled and blotchy, my eyes bloodshot and bulging out of their sockets and my face so white that I looked like a corpse. What on earth is wrong with me, doctor?”
The doctor looks at her and calmly says, “Well, for a start, there’s certainly nothing wrong with your eyesight …”
His father says, "For that son, you have to have a girlfriend."
Paul says, "But I've found a girl."
"Who?" said his father.
"My grandma."
"Let me get this straight." the father says. "You want to marry my mother? You can't do that!"
"Why not?" says Paul. "You married mine."
“My son Thomas,” said June proudly, “has first class degrees in psychology, economics and politics.”
“You must be proud of him,” said Sadie.
“Yes I am,” replied June. “He can’t get a job but at least he knows why.”
He replied, “I met an artist. I’ve never met someone so talented. He said he painted a picture of a cobweb on his wall and it looked so real, the maid tried for over an hour to get it off. "
Ruth said, “I don’t believe him.”
“Why not?” said Abe, “some artists are very good indeed.”
“Maybe,” said Ruth, “But maids aren’t.”
“I want you to paint me in the nude,” she said, “Do you have any objections?”
“Not for £7,000 I don’t. But I would have to keep my socks on. I must have somewhere to put my brushes.”
Father: “That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE.”
Q: How can you tell that Maurice is losing interest in his wife?
A: Because Maurice’s favourite sexual position is next door.
** The frog
Ken, 80 years old, was taking a walk when he saw a frog in the gutter. He was shocked when the frog began to speak to him. The frog said, "Old man, if you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess, I'll be yours forever and we can make mad passionate love every night."
Ken bent down and put the frog into his pocket and continued walking.
The frog said, "Hey, I don't think you heard me. I said if you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess and we can make passionate love every night."
Ken took the frog out of his pocket and said, "I heard you, but at my age I'd rather have a talking frog."
** What’s wrong with me?
Esther makes an emergency appointment to see her doctor.“Doctor,” says Esther, “just look at the mess I’m in. When I awoke this morning, I looked in the mirror and was shocked to see my hair all wiry, my skin wrinkled and blotchy, my eyes bloodshot and bulging out of their sockets and my face so white that I looked like a corpse. What on earth is wrong with me, doctor?”
The doctor looks at her and calmly says, “Well, for a start, there’s certainly nothing wrong with your eyesight …”
** I want to get married
Little Paul says to his father, "Daddy, Daddy, I want to get married"His father says, "For that son, you have to have a girlfriend."
Paul says, "But I've found a girl."
"Who?" said his father.
"My grandma."
"Let me get this straight." the father says. "You want to marry my mother? You can't do that!"
"Why not?" says Paul. "You married mine."
** Knowledge
June was talking to her friend Sadie.“My son Thomas,” said June proudly, “has first class degrees in psychology, economics and politics.”
“You must be proud of him,” said Sadie.
“Yes I am,” replied June. “He can’t get a job but at least he knows why.”
** The artist
When Abe returned home from work, his wife Ruth said, “So how was your day?”He replied, “I met an artist. I’ve never met someone so talented. He said he painted a picture of a cobweb on his wall and it looked so real, the maid tried for over an hour to get it off. "
Ruth said, “I don’t believe him.”
“Why not?” said Abe, “some artists are very good indeed.”
“Maybe,” said Ruth, “But maids aren’t.”
** Another artist
Becky
was very rich. One day she telephoned a famous young artist and said
she wanted to commission him to paint her. He said his fee would be
£5,000, which she immediately accepted. When she arrived at his studio
for the first sitting, she gave him a cheque for £7,000. The artist was
very surprised and asked what the extra money was for.“I want you to paint me in the nude,” she said, “Do you have any objections?”
“Not for £7,000 I don’t. But I would have to keep my socks on. I must have somewhere to put my brushes.”
Current Mood: 
Amused
Amused
Tags:Frog,Artist,Me
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