All Barmen Have Their Own Drunks

Neil was in a pub, extremely drunk. The barman, Simon, noticed this, and when Neil asked for another whisky, the barman politely told him that he was too drunk to be served another drink.

Neil leaves. He walks out of the pub and in again at the side door and asks Simon for a double whisky. A little frustrated, Simon repeats the answer he had said earlier.

Neil, again leaves and enters through a further side door, walks up to the barman and asks for a Scotch. Simon is now quite annoyed, and tells Neil he is too drunk and to get a ride home and leave the pub.

Once more, Neil leaves. Again he comes in, this time through the back door. Neil walks up to the barman and before he can say a word, Simon explodes at him, "I told you already, you are way too drunk, you can not have another whisky. Get out of my bar!"

Disgruntled, Neil glares at Simon and asks, "Man, how many bars do you work at?"

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A man walks into a pub and asks the barman for a pint of bitter.

The barman says, "Bitter’s off just now, we’re waiting for the dray and a delivery."

The man says, "OK then, I'll have a rum and coke."

After drinking his rum and coke, he goes back to the bar and asks again for a pint of bitter.

Once again the barman says that they don't have any, so the man orders a screwdriver.

He drinks his screwdriver. He then goes back and asks yet again for a pint of bitter.

The barman says "Look, if you take the rum out of a rum and coke, what do you have?"

The man replies, "Coke."

"If you take the vodka out of a screwdriver, what do you have?"

The man replies, "Orange juice."

"Now, if you take the flame out of a pint of bitter, what do you have?"

The man looks puzzled, "There is no flame in a pint of bitter."

The barman replies, "That’s what I've been trying to tell you!"

 

Tags:Barman,Drunks

Current Mood: Amused