** A good excuse
A
man was driving home late one afternoon, and he was driving above the
speed limit. He looks in his rear view mirror and notices a police car
with its red lights. He thinks, "I can outrun this guy", so he floors
it.
The cars are racing down the highway - 60, 70, 80, 90 miles an hour. Finally, as his speedometer passes 100, the guy realizes he can't outrun the cop so he gives up and pulls over to the curb.
The police officer gets out of his cruiser and approaches the car. He leans down and says "Listen mister, I've had a really lousy day, and I just want to go home. Give me a good excuse and I'll let you go."
The man thought for a moment and said, "Three weeks ago my wife ran off with a police officer. When I saw your cruiser in my rear view mirror I thought you were that officer and you were trying to give her back to me!"
The cars are racing down the highway - 60, 70, 80, 90 miles an hour. Finally, as his speedometer passes 100, the guy realizes he can't outrun the cop so he gives up and pulls over to the curb.
The police officer gets out of his cruiser and approaches the car. He leans down and says "Listen mister, I've had a really lousy day, and I just want to go home. Give me a good excuse and I'll let you go."
The man thought for a moment and said, "Three weeks ago my wife ran off with a police officer. When I saw your cruiser in my rear view mirror I thought you were that officer and you were trying to give her back to me!"
** The toilet seat incident
Charlie's
wife, Lucy, had been after him for several weeks to paint the seat on
their commode. Finally, he got around to doing it while Lucy was out. He
left to take care of another matter before she returned. She came in
and undressed to take a shower. Before getting in the shower, she sat on
the commode. As she tried to stand up, she realized that the
not-quite-dry epoxy paint had glued her to the commode seat. About that
time, Charlie got home and realized her predicament.
They both pushed and pulled without any success whatsoever. Finally, In desperation, Charlie undid the commode seat bolts. Lucy wrapped a sheet around herself and Charlie drove her to the Hospital Emergency Room. The ER Doctor got her into a position where he could study how to free her. Lucy tried to lighten the embarrassment of it all by saying:
"Well, Doctor, I'll bet you've never seen anything like this before".
"Actually," said the Doctor, " I've seen a lot of them. I just never saw one FRAMED before."
Current Mood: 
Amused
Amused
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