The Handy Woman

The Handy Woman ~

Rita, a beautiful blonde, is fed up being typecast by men as silly, useless, and starry-eyed. "I’m as good as most men I meet," she says to herself and makes a decision to prove it - she will earn some decent money by hiring herself out as a handyman.

First thing next morning, Rita begins canvassing the wealthy Hampstead neighbourhood and starts by ringing the bell of the first house in the first road she comes to. This happens to be Moshe and Leah’s house. When Moshe opens his door, Rita asks him if he has any jobs for her to do.

"Well, my porch needs painting. How much will you charge me?"

Rita thinks for a while, then replies, "£40."
"OK," says Moshe, "you’re hired. You’ll find the paint, paintbrushes, primers, scrapers and other such tools in my garage. It’s not locked."

When Rita goes into the garage, Leah says to Moshe, "Do you think the girl realises that we have a very large porch?"
"That’s up to her to find out," replies Moshe, "let’s leave her to it."

Thirty minutes later, Rita knocks on the door to collect her money.

"You're finished already?" asks Moshe, most surprised.
"Yes," replies Rita, "and as I had paint left over, I gave it an extra coat."

Impressed, Moshe reaches into his pocket for his wallet. But before he could pull it out, Rita says,

"And by the way," wanting to show off her knowledge, "it's not a Porch, It's a Ferrari."

Philosophical questions ~

• If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
• If I went to a bookshop and asked for the self-help section, would it be defeating the purpose?
• Is there another word for synonym?
• What was the best thing before sliced bread?
• Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
• Why are haemorrhoids called "haemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?
• Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

A South American scientist from Argentina , after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain and sexual activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse.

Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.

Tags:philosophy,handywoman

Current Mood: Amused