Cooperisms - Tommy's Warp Sense Of Humour

~ A woman told her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor said, 'It's old age.'

The woman said, 'I want a second opinion.' The doctor says, 'OK. You're ugly as well.'

~ 'You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice."

~ A man walked into the doctors, The doctor said ' I haven't seen you in a long time.'

The man replied 'I know. I've been ill.'

~ A man walked into the doctors, he said 'I've hurt my arm in several places.'

The doctor said 'Well don't go there any more.'

~ I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.

~ So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said 'Who's speaking please?'

And a voice said 'You are.'

~ So I rang up my local swimming baths. I said 'Is that the local swimming baths?'

He said 'It depends where you're calling from.'

~ Two Aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish but the Reception was Brilliant.

~ So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.'

He said 'I'm not stopping you.'

~ A man goes into the doctors. The doctor says, 'Go over to the window and stick your tongue out.'
Man says, Why? The doctor says, 'I don't like my neighbours' ~ 'Doc, I can't stop singing the green green grass of home.'
'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'.
'Is it common?'
'It's not unusual.'

Tags:Tommy,WarpHumour

Current Mood: Amused