The Brothel, The Dog's Tail & The Condom

** The Brothel
An elderly man, goes to a brothel and tells the madam that he would like a beautiful, young lady for the night. The madam gives him a quick look-over and is rather puzzled. So she asks him, "How old are you?"
"Why," replies the old man, "I'm 98 years old today."
"Ninety-eight!" the madam exclaims. "Don't you realize you've had it?"
"Oh," he says, "in that case, how much do I owe you?"

** The School
Freda goes into her son's bedroom. "You've got to get up for school, Yossi."
Yossi pulls the blankets over his head and replies, "I don't want to go to school, mother."
"But you have to," Freda said.
"I don't want to. The teachers don't like me and all the kids make fun of me."

Freda pulls the blanket back a little, "Yossi, you don't have any choice. You've got to get up for school."
"OK, OK", says Yossi, "But only if you give me one very good reason!"
"You're 52 years old and you're the headmaster."

** The Dog's Tail
Solly took his King Charles spaniel dog to the vet. "Doctor," he said sadly, "I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to cut off my dog's tail."
The Dr stepped back in shock, "Why should I do such a terrible thing?"
"My mother-in-law's arriving tomorrow, and I don't want anything to make her think she's welcome."

** A condom for my thumb??

The following is part of an Email a friend of mine from England sent to me just minutes ago, after reading mine to her that I have had an accident cutting my thumb.

"... after a while, hopefully it will turn a very pretty shade of pink soon. I am still very curious how you did it though. I know it's difficult to wrap a thumb tidily. Here's what you can do: to take a bath, you can tie a small plastic bag round it. You might find it easier and more comfortable to use a condom, then just seal the bottom part with a rubber band ..."

I thought it was quite funny. Just the idea makes me giggle ... I got a tiny little thumb!!

Tags:condom,dpg'stail

Current Mood: Amused