My Curriculum Vitae

My first job was working in an orange juice factory,
but I got canned ... couldn't concentrate. 

Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack,
but I just couldn't hack it … so they gave me the axe.

After that I tried to be a tailor,

but I just wasn't suited for it … mainly because it was a so-so job. 

Next I tried working in a Quick Fit Centre,
but that was exhausting. 

I wanted to be a barber,
but I just couldn't cut it.
 

Then I tried to be a chef,
figured it would add spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme. 

Finally, I attempted to be a deli worker,
but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard. 

My best job was being a musician,
but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy. 

I studied a long time to become a doctor,
but I didn't have any patients.

Next was a job in a shoe factory,
I tried but I just didn't fit in.

I became a professional fisherman,
but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income. 

Thought about becoming a witch,
so I tried that for a spell. 

I managed to get a job working for a swimming pool maintenance company,
but the work was just too draining. 

I got a job at a zoo feeding giraffes,
but I was fired because I wasn't up to it.

So then I got a job in a gymnasium,
but they said I wasn't fit for the job. 

Next, I found being an electrician interesting,
but the work was shocking. 

After years of trying to find work, I finally got a job as an historian,
until I realised there was no future in it.

My last job was working at Starbucks Coffee,
but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.

SO I RETIRED, AND I FOUND I AM A PERFECT FIT FOR THE JOB!

Tag:curriculumvitae

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