** The Heat Wave
One hot summer’s day in Golders Green, Jack Gold steps out of his shower and says to his wife, Hette, “It’s just too hot to wear any clothes today, honey. What do you think the neighbours would say if I mowed the lawn without anything on?”
Hette replies, “That I married you for your money.”
"Isn't that awfully steep?" asked Morris.
"Yes," the lawyer replied, "and what was your third question?"
One hot summer’s day in Golders Green, Jack Gold steps out of his shower and says to his wife, Hette, “It’s just too hot to wear any clothes today, honey. What do you think the neighbours would say if I mowed the lawn without anything on?”
Hette replies, “That I married you for your money.”
** The Lawyer's Fees
Morris walked into a lawyer's office and inquired about the lawyer's rates. "£150 for three questions," replied the lawyer."Isn't that awfully steep?" asked Morris.
"Yes," the lawyer replied, "and what was your third question?"
** The large family
Max was talking to Louie. “Did you know that I’m one of 18 children?”
Louie said, “No, I didn’t. Why do you think your parents had so many children?”
Max replies, “The problem was that my mum was hard of hearing. When mum and dad went to bed each night, dad would ask, “Do you want to go to sleep, or what?”
And mum would say, “What?”
Louie said, “No, I didn’t. Why do you think your parents had so many children?”
Max replies, “The problem was that my mum was hard of hearing. When mum and dad went to bed each night, dad would ask, “Do you want to go to sleep, or what?”
And mum would say, “What?”
** The Accident
One
day, Moishe is crossing the street and gets knocked down by a car.
Although only slightly hurt, an ambulance is called. When it arrives,
the attendant puts a blanket over Moishe and a pillow under his head and
asks, "Sir, are you comfortable?"
Moishe looks up and says, "Well, I make a living!"
Moishe looks up and says, "Well, I make a living!"
** What A coincidence!
Moishe
and Bernie are walking down Regents Street when Moishe suddenly says to
Bernie, "Don't look! Don't look! Here comes my wife and my mistress."
Bernie sneaks a peak and says, "What a coincidence, I was going to say the same thing!"
Bernie sneaks a peak and says, "What a coincidence, I was going to say the same thing!"
Current Mood: 
Amused
Amused
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