
BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy. GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me! BOY : You love me... GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring?? BOY : Sure, what's your phone number?? GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest. BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever. BOY : Don't you ever want to improve?? BOY : I love you and I could die for you! GIRL : How soon?? BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you! GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there?? SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss?? TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth. MAN : You remind me of the sea. WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting? MAN : NO, because you make me sick. WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other. HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth. MARY: John says I'm pretty. Andrew says I'm ugly. What do U think, Peter? PETER: A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly. GIRLFRIEND: "...And are you sure you love me and no one else ?" BOYFRIEND: "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday". TEACHER : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?" PUPIL: "The moon". TEACHER : "Why?" PUPIL: "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it". TEACHER : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?" PUPIL : "A teacher". WAITER: "Would you like your coffee black?" CUSTOMER : "What other colours do you have?" TEACHER : "Sam, you talk a lot !" SAM : "It's a family tradition". TEACHER : "What do you mean?" SAM: "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher". TEACHER : "What about your mother?" SAM: "She's a woman". TOM : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?" DAVID: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated". TEACHER : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?" STUDENT: "Brotherly love". TEACHER: "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?" SAM : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook". PATIENT: "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?" DOCTOR : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others all died". TEACHER : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE? " ONE STUDENT: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time." TEACHER: " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?" ONE STUDENT: “Because George still had the axe in his hand." My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs Tags:evesdropping |
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