25th Nov 2011 Doctor, Doctor ...

** Pain everywhere ~

Patient: 'Doctor, Doctor: when I press my leg it hurts. Then when I press my chest it hurts, when I press my head it hurts, and when I press my stomach it hurts. I'm worried doc, what's wrong with me?'

Doctor: 'Easy & straightforward, you have a sore finger!'

** Deaf wife ~

Murphy went to a doctor to talk about his wife.

'Doctor, I think my wife is deaf because she never hears me the first time and I always have to repeat things.'

'Well, 'the doctor replied, 'Go home and tonight stand about 15 feet from her and say something to her. If she doesn't reply move about 5 feet closer and say it again. Keep doing this so that we'll get an idea about the severity of her deafness'.

Murphy goes home and does exactly as instructed. He starts off about 15 feet from his wife in the kitchen as she is chopping some vegetables and says, 'Betty, what's for dinner?' He hears no response. He moves about 5 feet closer and asks again. No reply. He moves 5 feet closer. Still no reply. He gets fed up and moves right behind her, about an inch away, and asks again, 'Betty, what's for dinner?'

Betty says, 'This is the fourth time I told you. It's meatloaf!'

** Long and Short of the Problem ~
Adam, an elderly man was seated in the doctor's waiting room. When he was called in to see the doctor, Adam slowly got up, and, grasping his cane and hunching over, slowly made his way into the examining room.

After only a few minutes, Adam emerged from the room, walking completely upright. Paul, another patient who had watched him hobble into the room all hunched over, stared in amazement. 'That must be a miracle doctor in there.' he exclaimed. 'What treatment did he give you? What's his secret?'

Adam stared at Paul and said, 'Well, the doctor looked me up and down, analysed the situation, and gave me a cane that was four inches longer than the one I had been using.'

Tags: doctor

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