These are taken from REAL résumés and cover letters, and were printed in the Fortune Magazine:
- "I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience."
- "I have lurnt Word for Widows, computor operations and spreasheet progroms."
- "I received a plague for Salesperson of the Year."
- "Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions."
- "Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave."
- "Failed bar exam with relatively high grades."
- "It's best for employers that I not work with people."
- "Let's meet , so you can 'ooh' and 'aah' over my experience."
- "You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time."
- "Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details."
- "I was working for my mom until she decided to move."
- "Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No commitments."
- "I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse."
- "I am loyal to my employer at all costs....Please feel free to respond to my résumé on my office voice mail."
- "I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and absolutely nothing."
- "My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training n meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage."
Tags: jobrésumés
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