From a Stingem Airline employee ...
'Welcome
aboard Stingem Flight XXX to YYY.' We are pleased to have some of the
best pilots in the industry... Unfortunately, none of them are on this
flight...!'
Then he progressed to the famous 'Fasten Seatbelt Routine'.
What he said was:
'To
operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull
tight. It works just like every other seatbelt, and if you don't know
how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public
unsupervised.'
'In
the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will
descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it
over your face. If you have a small child travelling with you, secure
your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are travelling with two
or more small children, decide now which one you love the more.'
After the plane landed, he said:
'As
you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings.
Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight
attendants'
His final announcement was:
'Thank
you for flying Stingem Airlines. We hope you enjoyed giving us the
business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride.'
Tags: aircrewhumour
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