If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
Help Wanted: Telepathy. You know where to apply.
Karaoke is Japanese for "Tone Deaf"
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
A day without radiation is a day without sunshine.
A day without sunshine is like night.
A seminar on Time Travel will be held two weeks ago.
An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
As I said before, I never repeat myself. As long as I can remember, I've had amnesia.
Bigamy: one wife too many. Monogamy: same thing.
Bombs don't kill people, explosions kill people.
Bureaucrats cut red tape, lengthwise.
Clairvoyants meeting canceled due to unforeseen events.
Clones are people two.
Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage.
Did ya hear? They took the word gullible out of the dictionary!
I want to die peacefully, in my sleep, like my grandfather, not screaming, terrified, like his passengers.
Do not put statements in the negative form.
Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Friction can be a drag sometimes.
He who places head in sand, will get kicked in the end!
How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise MY hand!
Hypochondria is the only disease I haven't got.
I bet you I could stop gambling.
I couldn't care less about apathy.
Energizer Bunny Arrested! Charged with battery.
I like kids, but I don't think I could eat a whole one.
I tried to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.
I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.
I used to be schizophrenic, but we're all right now.
If evolution is outlawed, only outlaws will evolve.
"I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity."
Tags: contradictory3, sarcastic
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