30th April 2012 Poking Fun At The Police

Police Wedding ~

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down the Main Street.

"But officer," the man began, "I can explain."

"Quiet!" snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you spend the night in jail until the chief gets back."

"But, officer, I just wanted to say ... "

"And I said be quiet! You're going to jail!"

A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said,

"Lucky for you, the chief's at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."

"Don't count on it," answered the guy in the cell. "I'm the groom."

Police Car Stolen ~

A high tech, theft-proof £75,000 [$ 121,773 USD] police car was stolen in Berlin, Germany - after officers left it unlocked with the key in the ignition. 

The special BMW, which features high-tech surveillance equipment and sophisticated electronic locks and immobilisers to make it theft proof, was the pride of the Berlin police force. 

It was stolen in the city's Wedding district when two officers jumped out to chase a joy-rider on foot after he had abandoned a stolen car.

The criminal got away and when the officers went back they found the expensive BMW gone.

Tags: wedding, policecar

Prev: 30th April 2012 Prospect Of Welsh Films
Next: 21st Feb 2012 An Irresistible Ad.

30th April 2012 The Prospect Of Welsh Films

Now that Anthony Hopkins and Catherine Zeta-Jones have well established in Hollywood, the Welsh film industry is to receive additional funding to step up production.

Hollywood is going to remake many well known films, but this time with a Welsh flavour. The following are planned for release next year:

 

 

An American Werewolf in Powys

The Magnificent Severn

The Wizard of Oswestry

Trefforest Gump

Dai Hard

Cool Hand Look-you

Dial M For Merthyr

Sheepless in Seattle

Haverfordwest Was Won

Independence Dai

Seven Brides from Seven Sisters

Welsh Connection

Welsh Connection II

The Bridge on the River Wye

Lawrence of Llandybie A Beautiful Mind-you

The Welsh Patient The King and Mair

The Sheepshag Redemption

Breakfast at Taffynys

Look You Back in Bangor

Evans Can Wait

A Fishguard Called Rhondda

Where Eagles Aberdare

The Eagle has Llandudno

9½ Leeks

Cwmando

The Lost Boyos

Huw Dares Gwyneth

Austin Powys

The Magic Rhonddabout

 

Please contact the Welsh Assembly for actual dates of release and for literal translations where needed.

Tags: welshfilms

Prev: 30th April 2012 Dancing In The Street
Next: 21st Feb 2012 An Irresistible Ad.

30th April 2012 Dancing In The Street

It's a wonderfully mild and sunny day after almost 2 weeks of quite unstable weather. The air is fresh and clean and the street where I walk past every morning to my regular coffee shop is extra beautiful with tiny pink flower, but hundreds of them, on every tree both sides of the street, almost too picture pretty to be real. A young woman, early twenty I guess, is dancing, all by herself, in the middle of the street, smiling at people who looked at her with wonder, suspicion, and probably thought her crazy but, she just carried on dancing getting more and more energetic, and occasionally waved to a couple of them and to the children who stared or laughed out loud.

 

It's curious that when one shows carefree sentiment and happy spirit in public, it provokes disapproval and mockery, whereas walking with head down, indifferent to the gorgeous sunny day, sad face or void of any expression is accepted as normal. Nothing is more obvious if you look around not just in the street, but in a bus, train, underground, plane or boat, how many happy faces do you see? Most look tired, bored, sad, listless, cheerless or resigned, as if life is dreary and unbearable. But that seems normal and nobody would give it a thought why the fellow passengers are all so unhappy.

 

I don't know whether it happened to some of you, but I do sometimes feel just like that girl, suddenly with a strong desire to dance about just because I feel happy, elated and cheerful, simply because it's a great day, or about an extra happy memory or anticipation. I wish I had the courage to do as that girl, but I am ashamed to admit I have not yet trained myself to totally disregard what's generally classified as conduct unbecoming. I am getting better though, worried less and less what's other people's opinion of me.

 

I might get to that some day, dancing in the street, hug a stranger, kiss an old lonely man sitting on a park bench ... I had already shaken hands with a street cleaner once, because he called me from behind to tell me that I had dropped one of my gloves. I thanked him and we exchange a couple of words about the weather, then he complimented my Spanish. We ended up shaking hands before parting, and I felt good. I saw him again a few times and we always say a few words about nothing in particular. I feel good about that too. 

 

Tags: dancing, hugging, kissing

Prev: 29th April 2012 All About Feet
Next: 21st Feb 2012 An Irresistible Ad.

29th April 2012 All About Feet

Out of the Mouths of a smart child ~

Greg, the three year old, put his shoes on by himself. His father, Barry, noticed that the left shoe was on the right foot and vice-versa. He sat Greg down on a chair and said quietly, 'Greg, your shoes are on the wrong feet.'

He looked up at his father with a quizzical expression and replied, 'Don't mess me about, Dad, I know they're my feet.'

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Family Feet Business ~

I heard of a story about a family firm who cornered the feet market. One brother sold shoes, each shoe had a hidden fatal flaw. As a direct result the victim's feet needed treatment with the second brother, who was the only Chiropodist in town.

Legend had it that the chiropodist was so incompetent that the only way the victim could get home was in a taxi.

You're ahead of me now, the third brother had the only taxi firm for miles around.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

How Smart is Your Right Foot?

This is so frustrating! Give it a go anyway. It is so funny/weird that it will boggle your mind. And if you are anywhere near as stubborn as I am, you will keep trying at least a few more times to see if you can outsmart your foot; but you can't!

1) While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.

2) Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.

3) Your foot will change direction. I told you so. And, there's nothing you can do about it! Go ahead:

KEEP TRYING ALL YOU WANT.

Have a great day. Now get back to work.

Tags: feet

Prev: 29th April 2012 From Pigs To Big Pigs
Next: 21st Feb 2012 An Irresistible Ad.

29th April 2012 From Pigs To Big Pigs

The British press has coined a new term 'Pigs' during the initial part of the economic crisis, acronym (initials) of Portugal, Ireland, Greece and Spain, the countries in the most critically deteriorated situation, principal cause of the discredit and disparagement of the Euro zone. Out of those 4 'Pigs', 3 had been intervened in the past 2 years, in the order of Greece, Ireland and Portugal. Spain is holding it's breath pending on the reconstruction of the economic system to square up the deficit.

Along the way, the expression of 'Pigs' has encountered some alternations and we could well begin to mint the new term 'Big Pigs' to include Belgium, Italy and Great Britain. We can also add the F for France, H for Holland as the pigtails.The peripheral countries have stopped being the only worrying concern of the markets although they continue to be in the centre of the bulls-eye.

Great Britain has announced this week that it has officially entered recession after accumulating 6 months consecutively of decreases, and it being the biggest country in Europe outside of the Euro zone, which ( the Euro) up till now, bore the blame. The same fate also happened in Belgium, Italy and Holland.

I don't have any knowledge of politics and equally ignorant about world economy. The immediate future, of Europe anyway, seems very bleak not to say desperately precarious. Since Pigs are used to describe the present economic situation I guess we now have to bring in the Turtle with it's patience and determination to carry on regardless, and the Hare's swiftness and cunning to get ahead. But, if I remember right, the fable says the Turtle is at the end the winner.

 

So we should just tighten our belts and soldier on.

 

Tags: eurozone, hare, turtle, pigs

Prev: 28th April 2012 Random Snippets Of This & That ...
Next: 21st Feb 2012 An Irresistible Ad.

28th April 2012 Random Snippets Of This & That ...

** Snippets ~

1) I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

2) Why isn't there mouse-flavoured cat food?

3) Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

4) When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?

5) Mexican weather report: Chilli today and hot tamale.

** Weatherman? ~

A husband and his wife were sound asleep when suddenly the phone rang. The husband picked up the phone and said, "Hello? How the heck do I know? What do you think I am, a weatherman?" He then slammed the phone down and settled into bed.

"Who was that?" asked his wife.

"I don't know. It was some guy who wanted to know if the coast was clear."

** Denomination ~

There's a technical term for a sunny, warm day which follows two rainy days. It's called Monday.

 

** Summer conversation in the UK usually:

 

Hello, did you have a good Summer?

Yes indeed, we had a great barbecue that afternoon.

 

** A child's logic ~

 

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice,

 

"Mummy, will you sleep with me tonight?" The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."

 

A long silence was broken at last by a shaken little voice saying, "The big sissy."

Tags: snippets

Prev: 28th April 2012 Derelict, But Not Forgotten Or Foresaken
Next: 21st Feb 2012 An Irresistible Ad.

28th April 2012 Derelict, But Not Forgotten Or Foresaken

Yesterday British Telecom (BT) offered 60 of their flaming red, iconic telephone booths for £1,950 (€2,340) each. These had been one of the most known and representative landmarks of Great Britain for close to a century. The first installation of these in the streets of London and later in all cities were in 1920. Most of those of course had been substituted and modernised by newer versions.

These now on sale were fabricated in 1936, Model K6, designed by the famous British architect Giles Gilbert Scott, to commemorate the coronation of King George V; although he, the King, didn't like the red colour, the general public was greatly delighted so the wise King accepted it.

 

Should anyone wish to acquire something real traditionally British for nostalgic sentiment, for an original and most unusual gift, a relic to collect and treasure, or just something to adorn the garden or terrace, this is an unique opportunity. Maybe it's not a bad idea to use it, if you have a family dog, as a dog house, better than most dog houses which are low and tight. And not so uncomfortable or indignant for the erred husband when being sent to the dog house.

I think you can then call it the Red Chamber (instead of the Dog House; the husband would object less) like the greatest Chinese literary classic known internationally: 'The Dream Of The Red Chamber,' where the protagonist had his first awakening and erotic wet dreams.

 

Tags: doghouse, phonebooth

Prev: 27th April 2012 The Blonde In The Casino
Next: 21st Feb 2012 An Irresistible Ad.

27th April 2012 The Blonde In The Casino

An attractive blonde from Cork, Ireland, arrived at the casino. She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty thousand dollars in a single roll of the dice.

She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude." with that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!"

 

As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed... "Yes! Yes! I won, I won!"
She hugged each of the dealers, picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly parted.

The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked,
"What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching."

 

MORAL OF THE STORY

Not all Irish are drunks, not all blondes are dumb, ... but all men ... are men!

 

Tags: casino, blonde

Prev: 27th April 2012 The Hypnotic Art Of Benjamin Lacombe
Next: 21st Feb 2012 An Irresistible Ad.

27th April 2012 The Hypnotic Art Of Benjamin Lacombe

 

The well known French illustrator Benjamin Lacombe just presented his latest, quite spectacular versions of the ghoulish stories of Poe. I was most attracted by his self portrait, featuring himself with 6 arms, and with his very funny looking wrinkly dog Virgile by his side. 

 

He explained that's how he sees himself, always doing many things at the same time, making illustrations, writing, designing and drawing posters, making films ... and sculptures of his book characters, for exhibitions in New York, Paris, Rome & Tokyo and, now, versions for iPad. Like the one of 'The Herbarium of Fairies'.

 

It's a beautiful story of a botanist, collaborator of Rasputin, co-written with Sebastian Pereztat and will arrive in Spain end of this year. As invited star guest recently to the World Book convention in Barcelona, he came with novelty under his arm: The Mocking Bird, about a shy and timid boy in an institution in the 50's.

But I am not here to talk about his books. I found his portrait enchanting that says a lot about him, and a couple of his drawings that almost by themselves tell part of the story, or invite your imagination to get busy writing your own.

 

Tags: benjaminlacombe, mockingbird

Prev: 27th April 2012 Google Drive, Shortest Man, The Game Museum
Next: 21st Feb 2012 An Irresistible Ad.

27th April 2012 Google Drive, Shortest Man, Game Museum

Free hard disc from Google ~

 

Two days ago on the 24th, Google officially launched 'Drive', a hard disc online for all it's users, 5GB gratis storage for safekeeping documents, files, videos and photos. (If you need more than 5GB, you need to pay). Opening an account on Drive is simple:

drive.google.com

The shortest man in the world ~

 

The 72 year old dyer (person who dyes cloth, leather, etc.) from Nepal, Chandra Buhadur Dangi, has just entered the Guinness Book of Records as the shortest man in the world, who measures only 54 centimetres high (27 inches), and weighs 12 kilos (26.4 pounds).The previous record kept till now was the shortest man in the Philippines, Junrey Balawing, 59.9 cm in height.

All his life he had been stared, jeered and laughed at as 'a bad joke of nature' said the old man, now happy that with the official record, he hoped to be able to travel out of his birth place, see a bit of the world, and meet more people.

Video games in a museum ~

 

'The future Museum of Comic & Illustrations of Catalunya in Badalona, Barcelona is not meant to be for aficionados of comic books or illustrated strips, but a centre of talents and creations with enterprising plans', so assured Carles Santamaria, after announcing that the project has been re planned to include the video and animation industry.

The first phase of the building work has been completed, but lamentably, the work has been temporarily stopped and the forecasted completion for 2014 does not seem possible, due to the recent cutbacks on the already very tight budget, estimated to be of 10 million €.

The money problem is no news, everybody in every field has some these days; but a museum exclusively for video games and animated comic strips and cartoons is. 

 

Tags: google, shortestman, gamemuseum

Prev: 26th April 2012 Food For Laughs
Next: 21st Feb 2012 An Irresistible Ad.

26th April 2012 Food For Laughs

Chicken or duck?

 

Rhoda and Harry go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order the "Chicken Surprise." The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot. Just as Rhoda is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down. 

'Good grief, did you see that?' she asks her husband, Harry. He hasn't, so she asks him to look in the pot. Harry reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down. Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening, and demands an explanation. 

'Please sir,' stammers the waiter, 'what you order?'
Harry replies, "Chicken Surprise."

'Ah! So sorry, is mistake' says the waiter, 'I bring you Peeking Duck!'

Well done? Well done! 

Kevin was furious when his steak arrived cooked too rare.

'Waiter,' Kevin shouted, 'Didn't you hear me say 'well done'?'

'Of course I did, sir, I can't thank you enough, sir,' replied the waiter. 'I hardly ever get a compliment.'

Food & Diet:

** The best way to lose weight is by skipping ..... snacks and dessert.

** One guideline applies to fat and thin people alike: if you're thin, don't eat fast. If you're fat, don't eat - FAST.

** Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But I can usually shut her up with cookies..........

** A women's group was discussing diet tips. When it was mentioned that getting enough exercise and sleep were just as important as watching food intake, one woman responded with surprise that sleep was a factor. Another replied, 'Of course sleep is a factor. The only time I'm not eating is when I'm sleeping.'

** One of life's mysteries is how a two-pound box of candy can make a woman gain five pounds.

** The only exercise I get is jumping to conclusions.

** Sign in restaurant window: Eat now - Pay waiter. 

 

Tags: food, laughs, diet

Prev: 26th April 2012 Puppies For Sale - A Love Story
Next: 21st Feb 2012 An Irresistible Ad.

26th April 2012 Puppies For Sale - A Love Story

A farmer had some puppies he needed to sell. He painted a sign advertising the pups and set about nailing it to a post on the edge of his yard. 

As he was driving the last nail into the post, he felt a tug on his overalls, he looked down into the eyes of a little boy. 

 

Mister," he said, "I want to buy one of your puppies."

 

"Well," said the farmer, as he rubbed the sweat off the back of his neck, "these puppies come from fine parents and cost a good deal of money."

 

The boy dropped his head for a moment, then reaching deep into his pocket, he pulled out a handful of change and held it up to the farmer.

 

"I've got thirty-nine cents. Is that enough to take a look?"

 

"Sure," said the farmer, and with that he let out a whistle,"Here,Dolly!" he called.

 

Out from the doghouse and down the ramp ran Dolly followed by four little balls of fur.

 

The little boy pressed his face against the chain link fence. His eyes danced with delight.

 

As the dogs made their way to the fence, the little boy noticed something else stirring inside the doghouse.

 

Slowly another little ball appeared; this one noticeably smaller, down the ramp it slid.

 

Then in a somewhat awkward manner the little pup began hobbling toward the others, doing its best to catch up ...

 

"I want that one," the little boy said, pointing to the runt.

 

The farmer knelt down at the boy's side and said, "Son, you don't want that puppy, he will never be able to run and play with you like these other dogs would."

 

With that the little boy stepped back from the fence, reached down, and began rolling up one leg of his trousers, in doing so he revealed a steel brace running down both sides of his leg attaching itself to a specially made shoe.

 

Looking back up at the farmer, he said, "You see sir, I don't run too well myself, and he will need someone who understands."

 

The world is full of people who need someone who understands.

Tags: puppies

Prev: 26th April 2012 The 1st AeroCar Now On Sale
Next: 21st Feb 2012 An Irresistible Ad.

26th April 2012 The 1st AeroCar Now On Sale

The AeroCar ~

The car in the image is known as 'AeroCar', the first vehicle that can fly in the air - or the first plane that can also circulate on the highway. It was permitted to fly as well as to run on the ground in 1949, and now it is on sale for a trifle price of 970,000 €. This machine can reach 176 kilometres per hour in the air, and 96 on the road.

Without any doubt, the most difficult thing for the owner would be where on earth can you park it?

A home-made solar vehicle ~

A 19 year old Chinese young man, Zhu Zhenlin, has just constructed this solar car all by himself, which permits him to circulate in his native city of Hengheng, China, without contaminating the environment. With infinite patience and using only scrapes he found round the city, he completed his dream of building his own car right there in the garage of his house. Initiative and ambition this young guy certainly doesn't lack, and he hopes some multinational would engage him.

Not that his car is a paragon of streamlining example, but it works.

Tags: solarcar, aerocar

Prev: 25th April 2012 News TipBits - End Of Hollywood?
Next: 21st Feb 2012 An Irresistible Ad.

25th April 2012 News TipBits - The End Of Hollywood?

The end of Hollywood ~

Jimmy Wales, founder of Wikipedia, forecast yesterday the end of Hollywood during his intervention in the Forum in Switzerland, about the present and future of the Web. Like his web page had ended the long history of the British encyclopaedia, he thinks Internet will finish off the cinematographic industry of Hollywood in just a few years. What's more, nobody would give a damn. 

(Wrong! It matters to at least one person - Me. No amount of films on-line, on computer screen, smart phone, etc. could equal the pleasure of watching a good film on a big cinema screen, while you are totally relaxed in a comfortable seat, holding hands with your companion and sharing a bag of popcorns).

Shaking hands with Shakespeare ~

The annual Sant Jordi Festival of books and roses, always celebrated in Catalunya on the 23rd of April, in the past always traditional but this year there's never before novelty. During the most popular and customary tradition of several hundreds of international book authors meeting face to face with readers and book signing, some of the authors were dressed (disguised) as the main character of their book, and even signed the fiction character's name on the books, as well as their own.

(Fancy going home with a book signed by Hannibal Lecter, Jekyell. or Hyde!)

Intelligent book markers ~

 

Brand new idea for avid book readers. These are coloured,, flexible and they stick to the page separating it from those you have already read. A set of 3 costs € 2,98 at www.tresc.cat

 

Tags: jekyell, lecter, hyde, hollywood

Prev: 25th April 2012 How To Decipher Academic Jargons
Next: 21st Feb 2012 An Irresistible Ad.

25th April 2012 How To Decipher Academic Jargons

When you next read an academic paper, make sure you have this handy guide by your side.

" IT HAS LONG BEEN KNOWN " ...

I didn't look up the original reference.

"A DEFINITE TREND IS EVIDENT"...

These data are practically meaningless.

"WHILE IT HAS NOT BEEN POSSIBLE TO PROVIDE DEFINITE ANSWERS TO THE QUESTIONS"...

An unsuccessful experiment but I still hope to get it published.

"THREE OF THE SAMPLES WERE CHOSEN FOR DETAILED STUDY"...

The other results didn't make any sense.

"TYPICAL RESULTS ARE SHOWN"...

This is the prettiest graph.

"THESE RESULTS WILL BE IN A SUBSEQUENT REPORT"...

I might get around to this sometime, if pushed/funded.

"IN MY EXPERIENCE"...

Once.

"IN CASE AFTER CASE"...

Twice.

"IN A SERIES OF CASES"...

Thrice.

"IT IS BELIEVED THAT"...

I think.

"IT IS GENERALLY BELIEVED THAT"...

A couple of others think so, too.

"CORRECT WITHIN AN ORDER OF MAGNITUDE" ...

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

"ACCORDING TO STATISTICAL ANALYSIS"...

Rumour has it.

"A STATISTICALLY-ORIENTED PROJECTION OF THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THESE FINDINGS"...

A really wild guess.

"A CAREFUL ANALYSIS OF OBTAINABLE DATA"...

Three pages of notes were obliterated when I knocked over a beer glass.

"IT IS CLEAR THAT MUCH ADDITIONAL WORK WILL BE REQUIRED BEFORE A COMPLETE UNDERSTANDING OF THIS PHENOMENON OCCURS"...

I don't understand it....and I never will.

"AFTER ADDITIONAL STUDY BY MY COLLEAGUES"...

They don't understand it either.

"A HIGHLY SIGNIFICANT AREA FOR EXPLORATORY STUDY"...

A totally useless topic selected by my committee.

"IT IS HOPED THAT THIS STUDY WILL STIMULATE FURTHER INVESTIGATION IN THIS FIELD"...

I am pleased to feed you this rubbish.

** Postscript:

These special phrases are also applicable to anyone reading an academic paper.

Tags: academicjargons

Prev: 25th April 2012 Art Of Nature & Man - Picture Story
Next: 21st Feb 2012 An Irresistible Ad.

25th April 2012 Art Of Nature & Man

The bicycle made by nature ~

This Praying Mantis (so called because this insect holds it's forelegs in an upright position as if in prayer) in this photo looks like he's riding a bicycle doesn't he? 

The photographer, Eco Suparman, was taking photos of insects and happened to see the mantis landed on a plant, whose upper part curved in such a way that looks like bicycle wheels. It made such an unique and quite extraordinary image he was overjoyed to have capture this unusual art of the nature.

'Mazinger Z' made by man ~

The 'Mazinger Z' look-alike was the work of the Chinese artist Zhou Feng, who had created this popular animated Robot of decades ago, using only recycled bits & pieces like: excavators, vehicle wheels, fire extinguishers and a variety of scrape metal and other no more serviceable materials. 

The construction measures 8 metres in height, weighs 10 tons, and the purpose of this, he said, was to boost & support recycling. 

 

Tags: bicycle, mazingerz, mantis

Prev: 24th April 2012 Thinking Of Love ...
Next: 21st Feb 2012 An Irresistible Ad.

24th April 2012 Thinking Of Love ...

Thinking ... and remembering. My mother used to say, when I had been naughtier than normal, behaving badly or did something for me was fun but to her was terrible: 'I punish you severely only because I love you very much'. That too to her was reasonable and real, because I remember once, when I was absent from home overnight without asking or telling her first, she spanked me so hard while river of tears ran down her face, and sobbing.

Being young, innocent (I thought), ignorant (I later learned) I used to think, and pray: 'If only Mama loved me a little less ...! How much more fun my life would be'. I never imagine I could be so very miserable when she couldn't love me any more. Nor could I understand why, so many years later, I still think of that one single episode when I made her so angry and frustrated, to punish me so hard that it obviously hurt her far more than me; she cried then while doing so, I didn't when receiving it. What I felt at the time was anger too, now not sure whether it's at her or at myself; a bit of both I guess. I never forgot that. And I had never done the same thing since, not while she was still alive.

 

That very mixed up feeling occurs to me not just today, but often, and with nothing in particular that's remotely connected with that part of the past, and almost always with deep regret. I loved her dearly then, more so now, yet I could hurt her so without any pain on my part at the time. Don't they say people often hurt those they love most?

Don't ever use that as an excuse. You would hurt yourself real bad later, even decades later. At least I did, and am still hurting. 

 

Tags: motherlove

Prev: 24th April 2012 Golden Rules For Eating Chocolate
Next: 21st Feb 2012 An Irresistible Ad.

24th April 2012 Golder Rules For Eating Chocolate

The Golden Rules ~

• Put 'eat chocolate' at the top of your list of things to do each day. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.
• If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.
• Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.
• The problem: How to get two pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.
• Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite, and you'll eat less.
• If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you?
• If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don't they actually counteract each other?
• Money talks. Chocolate sings. Beautifully.
• Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger. Therefore, you need to eat more chocolate.
• A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Now, isn't that handy? 
•  

If you are still not convinced of the merits of chocolate, below is the report of the scientific research results of chocolate ~

 

• Eating chocolate is more stimulating to the heart and the head than kissing, according to new research conducted in 2010.
• The study found that at the point the chocolate melted in the mouth, all regions of the brain received a boost far more intense and longer lasting than the mental excitement from kissing.
• Chocolate also set the heart pounding, with heart rates for some of the 12 volunteers rising from a resting rate of about 60 beats per minute to as high as 140.
• Dr David Lewis, a psychologist formerly of the University of Sussex who led the study, said, 'These results really surprised and intrigued us.'
• Dr Lewis, who now runs a private research company called The Mind Lab, added, 'There is no doubt that chocolate beats kissing hands down when it comes to providing a long-lasting body and brain buzz.'
• Worth remembering on St Valentine's Day, a box of chocolates for a loved one could be as good as several kisses!
•  

I love chocolate, but no way would I forego not even just one loving kiss for any amount of chocolate!

Tags: kiss, rules, chocolate

Prev: 23rd April 2012 Chocolate Is Better Than Women?
Next: 21st Feb 2012 An Irresistible Ad.

23rd April 2012 Chocolate Is Better Than Women?

Some men think chocolate is better than a woman, because ...

• Chocolate never keeps you waiting.
• Chocolate doesn't get jealous when you look at another chocolate bar.
• You never have to buy a box of chocolates for a box of chocolates.
• Chocolate doesn't talk incessantly while you're watching the football.
• It doesn't expect you to remember the anniversary of the first time you met.
• Chocolate never tries to chat up your best friend.
• Chocolate isn't looking for a long term commitment.

Some fun facts about chocolate ...

1. The botanical name of the chocolate plant is "Theobroma Cacao", which means "food of the Gods"
2. The word 'Chocolate' comes from the Aztec word "xocolatl", which means "bitter water".
3. Champagne and sparkling wines do not pair well with milk or dark chocolate because of their acidity, which reacts with chocolate, causing a tart taste to occur. Instead, Will and Guy suggest white chocolate with champagne and dark chocolate with red wines.
4. In 1579, English pirates raided a Spanish ship. Upon finding its cargo of precious cocoa beans they burned the whole ship--they mistook the beans for sheep dung.
5. Some health experts say the purer the chocolate, the better it is for you. Chocolate with a cocoa content of more than 50% is high in magnesium and contains calcium, potassium, sodium and iron. It also has vitamins A1, B1, B2, C, D and E.
6. British people are second only to the Swiss when it comes to chocolate consumption. The average Briton eats 8.6kg of chocolate per year.
7. Great chocolate manufacturers choose their beans in the Marvine way as a wine-maker chooses his or her grape varieties.
8. Although chocolate is not an aphrodisiac, as the ancient Aztecs believed, chocolate contains phenyl ethylamine (PEA), a natural substance that is reputed to stimulate the Marvine reaction in the body as falling in love. Hence, heartbreak and loneliness are great excuses for chocolate overindulgence.
9. Thirty four degrees centigrade. Chocolate melts at just below the temperature of the mouth.
10. Chocolate syrup was used for blood in the famous 45 second shower scene in Alfred Hitchcock's movie, "Psycho" which actually took 7 days to shoot.
11. Chocolate is poisonous to dogs, cats and other domestic pets. The ingredient theobromine over stimulates their cardiac and nervous systems, and can cause death.
12. Christopher Columbus is said to have brought chocolate back to Europe after he visited South America in about 1504 but it only reached Britain in the 17th century. At the time it was made into a drink; but only for the wealthy, because of high import duties.
13. Queen Victoria sent specially molded chocolate bars to British soldiers fighting in the Boer War, in South Africa, as a New Year's greeting.
14. In Japan, there is a Valentine's Day tradition called", or "obligation chocolate", which requires that women give inexpensive chocolate to all of the men in their lives.
15. Steric acid, a fat found in chocolate, does not raise cholesterol levels, even though it is a saturated fat.
16. Chocolate has always been included on all American and Russian space flights.
17. American chocolate manufacturers use around 1.5 billion pounds of milk.
18. In 2009, Americans consumed over 3.4 billion pounds of chocolate.
19. Men crave food that is high in fat and salt while women crave chocolate.
20. Chocolate stimulates the Marvine reaction in the body as falling in love from a natural substance that is in chocolate by the name of phenyl ethylamine

Tags: women, chocolate

Prev: 23rd April 2012 A Dangerous Method
Next: 21st Feb 2012 An Irresistible Ad.

23rd April 2012 A Dangerous Method

'Do go through Miss Knightley - the doctor will undress you now.'

It couldn't be a more mouth-watering prospect: David Cronenberg and Sigmund Freud, face to face at last!

For years, the Canadian movie maker stood unchallenged as the most overtly Freudian of all film-makers, an explorer of the spectacular ways in which the Repressed was wont to Return, to wreak havoc on minds and bodies. But Cronenberg has lately remodelled himself as a classicist, a master of understatement. If you're hoping for mutant tentacles flailing over the couches of old Vienna, A Dangerous Method is not your film.

But you don't have to be a Cronenberg cultist to find this piece surprisingly staid. It's scripted by Christopher Hampton, after his play The Talking Cure and John Kerr's book A Very Dangerous Method. Set between 1904 and 1913, it's about the relationship between Swiss pioneer Carl Jung (Michael Fassbender) and his patient Sabina Spielrein (Keira Knightley). While treating Spielrein's hysteria, Jung contracts a serious case of transference and starts an affair with her, which largely takes the form of decorous, almost comically solemn spanking sessions. Meanwhile, Jung's relationship with Freud (Viggo Mor-tensen) falls on rocky ground – partly because Freud disapproves of his acolyte covering up his misbehaviour, partly because of Jung's zanier ideas.

Disappointingly, the film is less about the extraordinary Spielrein – who became a pioneering analyst herself – than about the oedipal clash between master and acolyte. Freud and Jung are two hyper-intelligent men constantly talking at cross-purposes, and the driest comedy revolves around them. After Jung questions Freud's insistence on interpreting everything through sex, Freud, analysing a dream of Jung's, muses, "This log – I think perhaps you should entertain the possibility that it might be your penis" (a suggestion that may have special resonance for admirers of Fassbender's recent performance in Shame).

I think the brief outline above should end here, so as not to spoil your viewing enjoyment or, for some, delicious confusion.

Tags: jung, cronenbery, freud

Prev: 23rd April 2012 Woman In Red
Next: 21st Feb 2012 An Irresistible Ad.